VelvetLips Guest Blogger: My First Visit to Frolicon 2014

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VelvetLips Guest Blogger: My First Visit to Frolicon 2014

It’s not always the sexy musings of Marla on VelvetLips, sometimes there are other playful people featured in her blog.

It’s not always the sexy musings of Marla on VelvetLips, sometimes there are other playful people featured in her blog. One such person is  Libertarian speaker and leader, Dan, who attended Frolicon ATL just as he was emerging into the lifestyle and discovering his true authentic self.

A Sexual Awakening

If it is true that life is what you make of it, then the creators of Frolicon, an Atlanta convention for the sexually adventurous, are definitely committed to making life more interesting for all of those who dare.

Frolicon takes place every Easter weekend at an unassuming airport hotel in Atlanta. Surely the date is not a coincidence, as I can’t be the only attendee for whom the event was a rebirth of sexuality after a long winter’s hibernation.

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First Lifestyle Experience

This was my first experience at such an event. I was married and monogamous for over 20 years. After the kids graduated college and the parenting was officially over, my wife and I decided to split off and go down separate paths in order to make each of our lives more authentic. As part of this task, I have been exploring parts of my sexuality that I packed up and put away while married.

Surprisingly, one of the most fun and unexpected parts of my experience has been the sharing of what I did and saw with some of my more “vanilla” friends. At first, these friends from my old life were judgmental about me being part of such an unusual and sexual event. I used this as an opportunity to turn the conversation to higher ground, and explained that the underlying rule of Frolicon is no means no!

“It’s a Libertarian paradise!” I explained. Additionally, as I tend not to hang around those who themselves would often be called normal, my friends realized their contradictions and their surprise at my exploration quickly turned to interest.

Living Authentically

Frolicon was about living more authentically, which requires knowing who you are and respecting all that it takes to be true to yourself. You must know your own boundaries and moral code, thus breaking the codes that have been forced upon you. At the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, the most important shrine in ancient Greece, there were two pillars that read “Know thyself” and “Everything in moderation.” Everyone on this journey in life must decide: Who are you and what do you live for?

Choosing one’s environment is a most crucial choice to make. What does your environment foster? Your authenticity? Or your submission to someone else’s authenticity? Sometimes, you must drastically change your environment to find who you are. While my vanilla friends were unwittingly encouraging me to stay the same and not do things that would make them uncomfortable, my personal growth requires resistance to the call of statism. Frolicon was just the environment I needed to support this new journey.

Vanilla Need Not Apply

While my vanilla friends might beg to differ, I didn’t get too wild and crazy with my first experiences at the con. I attended classes on fisting vaginas, erotic penis massage, breast and cunt torture, and polyamory 101.

In each of the classes, I noticed how professional the trainers were. This made the experience feel both erotic and scientific. It brought my mind and body into a greater synchronicity than I am used to in sex, and was a great way to start off my sexy spring awakening!

There were more varieties of classes and events than I could list in this post. There were classes on everything from relationship skills and beginner rope tying classes to speed dating and extreme BDSM play. I tried to keep my experiences in the middle ground, and found Frolicon people in general to be very pleasant and non-threatening. The con felt like a safe place to explore sexuality without judgment or danger.  I look forward to going back and possibly staying overnight next time.

Small Steps Towards My True Self

Two events that caught my attention were The Dark Room and The Masturbation Party. I considered attending one or both of these and my partner/tour guide was willing to attend also. I admire her freedom and strong boundaries, she is quite the inspiration for me. I’m glad I offer her value as well and that we have a good trade in our relationship. Usually, I am not a man who lets fear dictate my choices, but I did not have the courage for either of those events at my first con. It seems I have some more things to consider, and I like that! Perhaps next year, as I am even more authentic, I will open up a little more. Life is too short to hide, and Frolicon did indeed feel like a very safe place to explore my sexual identity.

One of the down sides of the event was the long lines to the elevator. There were many private parties happening in the private rooms, and I would have liked to take a tour. I suppose the choice of hotels available to host an event like this are limited, but the con staff made the best of the crowded lines with fun games to play and interesting things to see! The people-watching was amazing!

The next event I will attend will be Atlanta Poly weekend in June. I am enjoying exploring the ethically non-monogamous aspect of sexuality as well as the kinky side. I look forward to writing a review of that as well.

Have a great summer, and strive to live more authentically.

Originally from New England, Dan is now living in Georgia as a business owner, philosopher and father of two fascinating people for the last 20 years. As a Libertarian speaker and leader, he was also a Georgia Lt. Gov. candidate. He is now living happily on Lake Lanier and is in two long-term open relationships with amazing women.

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