Did you recently go through a break-up? Read these tips from Dr. Jess to help you move on and thrive in the next stage of your life.
All good (and not so good) things must come to an end, and if you’ve recently undergone a break-up, you know that the transition out of a relationship can be simultaneously intense, challenging and exciting.
Wherever you are in your post-relationship evolution, I’ve got some advice to help you move on and thrive in the next stage of your life.
1. Make it a clean break.
I know it’s tempting to want to check in once in a while, or catch up for old time’s sake, but if you’re still not over him and are struggling to get back into the dating game, remaining friends can do more harm than good. You don’t have to pretend that he never existed or go out of your way to avoid him at all costs, but you can’t support one another through a tough break-up, or you’ll remain reliant on one another for support.
2. Change your daily routine.
Sometimes the hardest part of a break-up isn’t the loss of companionship, but the major shift in practical routines. Did you used to go for coffee together each morning? Find a new morning ritual with a friend, co-worker or neighbor so that you don’t find yourself in the coffee shop reminiscing about the time you spent together soaking in your morning high.
A longer relationship often results in more ingrained behaviors and habits, but you can break these patterns almost immediately by making conscious decisions to change small daily habits one at a time.
3. Try something new without the goal of meeting a partner.
Boosting your self-esteem is of paramount importance after a break-up —particularly if your ex cheated. In between crying sessions, movie nights and ice cream indulgences, promise yourself that you’ll try something new and challenging in the next two weeks. Book and pay for this activity in advance and if you can, sign up with a friend.
Whether you take a dance class, learn to cook Indian food or take a rock-climbing lesson, you’ll benefit from a boost in self-esteem and an increase in the desire to try new adventures — including dating.
4. Take a social media break.
You don’t have to cut him off forever, but staying connected on social media after a difficult break-up is a recipe for disaster. Keeping tabs on one another or broadcasting passive-aggressive posts will only fuel your anger, resentment, and sadness and do nothing to motivate you to seek happiness. When you’re happy, you’ll attract other good people whom you can trust with little effort.
I hope these tips will help you to move on from your break-up, and remember to always practice safer sex.