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It’s all too easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of fun at a big lifestyle event. Swing better with these tips from Downunder!
1. Pre-Event Preparation
Aside from the obvious purchase of event tickets, hotel room confirmation, budget, airfares, etc. etc. etc., there’s other things you’ll need to consider when prepping for an event. However, speaking of flights, we do recommend thinking about your arrival and departure times. If you’re going to be partying until 2 am and get on a plane at 6 am, you might be regretting that decision later (unless you’ve upgraded with miles and then party like it’s Ibiza, baby!).
Do your research; How long is the event, how many people are expected, what are the theme nights (if any) and is there a chat room for the event attendees or a forum page to connect beforehand?
We’re generally planning our trips at least 12 months in advance; this gives us time to consider some personal goals like a fitness check-in, body hair removal (laser bzzzzummmm) and start saving/paying off the hotels, transit, etc. Most places will allow you to book with a down payment, so this means you can book early and then save before the event.
Hot Tip: Post your travel and connect! Desire Resorts has a forum page where you can post your travel most lifestyle dating websites have travel pages too so others can see you’re going. Check out the FAQs on the event planner website and check if there is an existing chat group; if not, you can always create one yourself on Kik or MeWe. Don’t be afraid to jump in and start getting those swinger connections happening.
2. Communication
We like to make some connections prior to attending an event. It’s a great way to start building up the sexual tension and excitement of attending a trip. Personally, we love talking about what events we’re attending, what theme nights we’re excited about, what we’re wearing, sharing the sexy countdown app on our phone! All these fun things are just part of the event journey for us. Some might not like to get this involved and that’s cool, too. But if you’re like us and you want to get amongst it, here’s what we suggest.
Are there existing chat groups or forums? Some events (Like Naughty in Nawlins, for example) will already have a forum/membership as part of the ticket price. That’s an excellent way to get involved. Some people like to break off into little subgroups and set up a Kik group in their local area and plan meet-ups.
If there isn’t a group already, there’s no reason you couldn’t start one! Post on your dating site (SDC, etc.) a travel notice and that you’re going, and advise people that, “We’re going to this party!?” and see if people reply. Then moderate your group: who do you want to join and how, and is it a private group or a free for all?
Hot Tip: A Kik group can only have a maximum of 50 people in a group before it reaches capacity, and the chat room is one giant board. Consider instead using a new social media platform called MeWe; you can have unlimited people, set security and invite protocol, and split the posts and chat function so you can post board announcements and picture boards, etc. (Hump Day, anyone?!).
3. To Pre-Date or Not to Pre-Date
This is a doozy! Some people like to set up dates before the event (if people live close) or even set up dates for evenings during the event. You need to figure out what works best for you before you set up too many dates and overbook your dance card.
If you prefer to meet people on the fly and just let the days and nights go with the flow, then we suggest not setting up dates for the entire week. Maybe there’s an especially interesting couple or single you like, and you could set up a one-night date, but don’t overload yourself. Allow yourself the opportunity to meet new people; you never know what kind of spark might occur during that late-night booty run up the hotel hallway.
There are some pitfalls of communication and pre-game matching. For example, you could arrive at the event and realize that you’re not keen on the couple at all. However, now you’ve over-promised and need to sit through a boring date having vanilla conversations when you could have been out there grinding on the dance floor or playing in the foam pit.
So, whatever you decide, we highly recommend making it a balanced approach. If it’s a week-long event, you might want to set up a breakfast or lunch date and keep your evenings free. Don’t forget to play early and dance later!
4. Stay or Stray from the Course
Another big decision is what you hope to achieve out of your time at the event. Lots of people go seriously over-the-top when it comes to holidays. They want to go away for a weeklong convention or to a resort and, while there, they want to go scuba diving, try local cuisine, go on a run, check out the nature walk, fuck a bunch of people? It’s too much!
We don’t recommend jam-packing too much into your schedule. If you’re going away on a Lifestyle vacation, then let it be about that; take in the atmosphere and encourage yourself to be in the moment. Rookie error is booking an eight-course degustation dinner and then worrying all day if you’re getting too drunk at the day parties, so then you don’t let loose.
Hot Tip: Head to the location a day early or stay a day late and check out the local sights. (Special props for getting some family excuse photos and something to share on Google Drive; extra points for a mid-day wardrobe change so that it looks legit!).
5. Pack your Main Luggage and your Swinger Bag with Pride
There’s a ton of articles on what to pack in your swinger bag for swinger success; however, there’s also a bunch of stuff you’re going to want to take with you in your main luggage. Things that will make your trip a little more comfortable (and no, I’m not talking about those weird people that take their own pillows on vacations? If this is you, please just stop).
Hot Tip: Here’s some of the things we bring with us and how we pack our bag. If there are two of you, devote one luggage bag to just LS stuff with costumes, toys, etc., and the other is our everyday bag. This way if TSA wants to get all up in your business, they only have one bag to go through, and it makes it easier to unpack and get your shit in order when you arrive.
Don’t forget to re-use some items across the theme nights if there are a few that you’re going to. Ladies, I’m going to call you out — you DO NOT NEED a different pair of shoes for each theme night — take some that can work across many. Also, consider what items you can leave behind or donate; do you really need to take that swashbuckler hat back home?
- Theme night Costumes: Pack these in ziplock bags to keep them all contained. Write on the front in marker pen what the theme is.
- Condoms: Enough for you and everyone else. Hell, we buy them by the hundreds
- Lube: Grab a few different kinds depending on what the application is
- Toys: Take a few, male and female. You never know when you could end up having a show-and-tell in your hotel room!
- ED Pills: For those guests with some performance issues
- Flat Shoes: Great for long day events and partying all day/night in heels! Say it with me: roll-up flat shoes!
- Cleaning Products: Wipes, mouthwash, toothpaste, etc.
- Towel: We like to have a handy little towel that rolls up; you never know when you’re going to need it (special points for any Douglas Adams fans).
- Contact Cards: How are people going to contact you to set up that next date? Get yourself some $20 printed contact cards from Vistaprint online. They arrive in a few days, and you’re all set. Put your dating profile and Kik details as a minimum, or leave a space for your room number.
6. Swinger Goals: To Have or Not to Have?
Have you ever walked away from an event just thinking, damn it! I wish I was more outgoing or asked that couple back to my room, or put myself out there more?
Perhaps having some goals can help you. Personally, we like to have a few things that we hope to achieve during an event. These can be personal, couple, or swinger-related. A few things to consider for your goal list:
- Are you practicing your flirt game? Do your best to flirt and, if you’re off-track, get your partner to nudge you or say the secret word to keep you focused.
- Can you be more outgoing? Talk more to strangers; try to spark up a conversation. Don’t wait for people to join your end of the pool or couch — get out there and strut your stuff. Do you want to:
- Ask out the most attractive person in the room?
- Do body shots at the busiest bar?!
- Win the Miss No Swimsuit competition?!
Whatever your goal, it’s fun to arrange a buddy system; get your own cheerleader in your corner helping you be the best version of yourself!
7. Setting Up Your Room
We all talk about setting up your room for success, so let’s just get right down to the balls of the matter — you may be bringing people back, you might not — either way, you’re going to want to have an area where you can relax, get funky, or just dance and drink the night away.
Hot Tip: Do this the moment you check-in. You might be tempted to go and check out what’s going on (FOMO again), but you’ll be super appreciative later when you end up having a random meet in your room or need to come back, shower, and throw on your next outfit. It’s also fun to put on some music, grab a drink, and dance your way around the room set up. Make it fun, time yourself, get naked — whatever makes it work for you.
- Water: You can never have enough bottled water in your room for you and your guests. Trust me when I say that bottled water mid-way through a hangover night is a godsend.
- Cups: Keep it classy and grab some plastic wine or champagne flutes while you’re at it. Stadium cups are great for vodka and stuff, but if your guests prefer wine, you’re going to look the part if you have the right (ahem) utensils.
- Alcohol: An assortment. Enough said.
- Portable Speaker: The champion of the room party. They are cheap, portable, Bluetooth-operated (you can ask your guests what music they like for extra tips), and can run from batteries or into the wall socket so you can move them anywhere around the room or balcony. We never take our expensive speakers on vacation, as we always leave stuff behind, so we grab a cheap one like the TriBit on Amazon for less than $30, and then we aren’t fussed if a drink-spill occurs or it is smashed on the floor in a passionate frenzy.
- Camera: If you want to get some photos or video (consent before, people!)
- Nibbles: You wouldn’t go on a marathon without a power snack. Grab a few bags of chips and nuts when you’re picking up your alcohol. Chocolate in the fridge is also a nice treat. If you’re getting fancy, you can do some veggie sticks, but really? Who has time for that? Let’s party!
- Phone Charger: We always like to have a 4-6 outlet phone charger block and a few phone cables for our guests. We grab a few types of cables in case they’re Android, and we’re Apple. Hey, we’re still compatible.
- Lights: I know we all like to talk about red lights (why?! they make your skin look flawless, for one; they also provide a softer light for photos and play), however; a big shout out to the original Red Light Night friends (That Couple Next Door Podcast). There’s a ton of podcasters that talk about red lights, but they’ll forever be the first! Extra props for having a portable disco light in your room; a cheap remote control one is easy to carry, and you don’t mind leaving it behind if it gets broken or you buy too many souvenirs.
8. Protect Yourself
Going to a hotel takeover or a lifestyle convention can be a daunting task. There’s only so many hours in a day, and all the while there’s something going on, and FOMO is real my friends. With events happening all through the day and into the evening (not to mention play time), you might find yourself a bit worse for wear on day 2-3.
Since we’re already in the alternative lifestyle, let’s not get stuck in the normal date routine. Why not get funky during the day and date at night?! D and I like to set up day sex or early afternoon sex, then go out and have some night fun. You’ll be all amped up for the evening, having a great time into the early hours of the morning and could even go for round 2 or 3.
Take breaks and naps during the day, or have a night that you party less hard. Pick days by the itinerary where you can have less crazy fun, mixed in with days and nights that you know you’re going to love (like my obsession getting crazy wild in foam parties)!
Hot Tip: Stay Hydrated; while my lovely friends in the US (Thanks Average Swingers and Our Naughty Escapades) like to say, Pedialyte fixes everything?? Honestly, it’s like the magic cure for hangovers and dehydration. Take it before bed, and drink it during the hot day parties in between your cocktails.
9. Have Fun and Make Connections
Remember, this is just a party. At the end of the day, don’t get too caught up into being stressed about theme nights, what to wear, transport to the venue, etc. It’s all in good fun.
Have fun, don’t take yourself too seriously, enjoy your partner, your new friends, and be in the moment!
XX
C&D
swingingdownunder.com
This article originally appeared in the April 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.
After all, it’s all about the Lifestyle.
Swinging Downunder’s 9 Practical Tips for Attending Large Swinger Events