What is swinging? How did it begin? What forms are there? What is the difference from adultery?
There is everything on the internet about swinging and the lifestyle. There are also different names for the same phenomenon: swinging, non-monogamous relationship, lifestyle, open, etc. It does not matter much what name you give the beast, as long as you carefully consider what you are starting and the different forms of the lifestyle.
Monogamy is the ‘standard’ in Western society. You have one partner with whom you have sex. But many couples discover sooner or later that passion has been extinguished a little, or they have an urge to look further or want more. When partners want to discover this together, they often end up in the swingers’ lifestyle.
The Difference Between Swinging and Adultery
When you have sex with one or more other people without your partner’s knowledge, it is called adultery. If you decide to go on a sexual journey of discovery together and have sex with others, that is not considered adultery.
What You Need to Know When You Start Swinging
First of all, swinging is not saving your relationship. On the contrary; if your relationship is not good, swinging can lead to a definitive break. So don’t start if it is not right between you two. Swinging only works if you are looking for an addition, not a replacement. Many people also think that intimacy only exists between couples and that swinging is without feeling or intimacy. Nothing is less true. In the beginning, it is still a night of sex, but friendships or permanent swing relationships gradually develop.
Even though you have a good relationship and decided to discover the lifestyle together, making agreements about that is necessary to ensure that it is — and will remain — fun for both of you.
The Emergence of Swinging
In short: the phenomenon of key exchange arose in the flower power era of the ’60s. After a pleasant evening, house keys were collected in a bowl or container. Upon departure, the men grabbed hold of the bin and spent the night with the lady whose house key it was, and the partner exchange was born. The difference with swingers is that partner exchange often did not occur in the presence of one’s own partner. Many swingers are actually together while having sex with one or more other partners.
Types of Swinging
Swingers play with another couple, several couples, or one additional person, but there are quite a few currents, and shapes inside that are all not very tightly defined.
For example, exhibitionism is when you like being watched by someone else during sex with someone else (the counterpart is voyeurism, which is when you want to see how others have sex.
Soft swap is couples who kiss, caress, hug, and often also have oral sex with someone other than their partner, but who have no penetrative intercourse with another.
Peak swap is having sex with someone other than your partner, but it does not necessarily have to be swinging.
Group sex says it all: having sex with multiple partners who are present in the same room and at the same time.
A trio is often one man and two women, often as part of a friendship and because the woman is bisexual or has bisexual feelings. Many couples see this as an addition to their relationship.
BDSM includes several types of power exchange, such as submissiveness, dominance, spanking, bondage, etc. Many swingers practice BDSM as part of their lifestyle.