We’ve all seen the super hot bath and shower scenes in movies, where the water and sex drip off the screen. You can almost feel and taste it. So naturally easy and sexy…until you try it.
As I was looking into all the different forms of water sex, I couldn’t help but ponder my own sometimes laughable and awkward experiences in sensual watery situations. Looking back at the numerous slip-and-falls that happened to me, I thought it might be a great idea to toss out some pointers to prevent a possible trip to the ER and turn your hot and steamy water sessions into a success by being semi-prepared for them.
It’s actually quite the challenge to have awesome sex in the shower or bathtub. First off, more often than not, they are somewhat small spaces. Taller partners or smaller ones, take your pick, make for extra awkward positions, and where most of us are not contortionists, often the session ends up on the floor or somewhere else on dry land.
Movies versus Real Life
We all know, movies are total make-believe, but regardless, those hot shower and bath scene images are what sticks to our minds and will be what we expect for it to be like in real life. Mr. Grey absolutely knew what he was doing, and Anastasia was so deliciously receptive. They had it down to the titty like the pros they are. Try the same, and you’ll find out that it’s actually not as naturally easy as it looks. When you’ve had your fill of near falls and awkward positions — especially when the male is much taller — you know there are certain challenges to overcome that in the movies are a complete non-issue.
Few Words of Wisdom
So, here goes — take it or leave it — but in my experience, these are solid tips to keep in mind to tip the scale from awkward to awesome.
1. Lube Up
Even though it’s wet, water is surprisingly unhelpful when it comes to penetration. Ocean water is even worse, as that feels like a salt rub on your genitals. If you love a good sex session in the shower, it’s a wonderful idea to have a big bottle of lube next to your shampoo. Water rinses lube away rather fast, so get ready for that extra bump and pump.
2. Take it Slow
Bathtubs and shower stalls are super slick, especially if there are soap bubbles involved. So, make sure to go slow! A slip ‘n slide can be hilarious but can be very painful, too. Those anti-slip shower or bathmats don’t cut it, either. They actually make things worse when they suddenly decide to give way.
3. Keep it Simple
Ease up on the positions. Your head banging against the wall or faucet is not really sexy and is a sure way to end a session fast, as cussing and seeing stars are usually directly involved. Installation of a special strong bar that you can hold on to is advisable if you are prone to having sex in the shower or bathtub.
4. Save Face
Whatever you do, try to keep your face away from water. Water going up your nose while giving or receiving oral pleasure makes it really hard to breathe (duh!), and if just the tiniest droplet of water ends up being sucked into your lungs, it results in an ugly coughing fit.
5. Dirty is Good
Period sex, golden showers, and squirting orgasms are excellent choices for the shower stall. The mess just goes down the drain. Pretty awesome.
6. Waterproof Toys
Toys are a great addition when it comes to wet sex. If you have a toy box in your bathroom — and I hope you do — make sure it is filled with the waterproof kind. Oh, and ladies, make sure to use your waterproof mascara — ‘nuff said.
7. Not Here
When you’re on a sexy cruise, it’s best to forget about any shower sex. Those stalls are super small, and I swear the shower curtains are specially made to be super clingy and are a battle to reckon with while just taking a shower. Just stay safe, and don’t even try it.
So, is shower or bathtub sex awkward or awesome? What do you think? I’d say it’s both. Is it fun? Oh, yes!
The Travelling Goddess