By Chris Santilli for ASN Lifestyle Magazine
What’s the difference between a donkey and an ass? A donkey is domesticated, but ass is wild, baby. Ass is wild! So goes the aural sex at Hedonism II, the very adult lifestyle/nudist resort in Negril, Jamaica. Though the resort sports a prude side (clothing optional) and a nude side, its lewd side is everywhere.
Hedonism II (a.k.a. Hedo) lets guests take innocent words and put them in compromising positions, says Richie from New York. For example, a Hedo nap is a euphemism for sex. How the word nap is said indicates the real activity. Some call the nap a ‘snap’ for sex nap.
Hedo guests Bruce & Jane report: “During a rainstorm, we retreated to our room for a while, then came back to the hot tub. ‘Where have you been?’ someone asked. ‘Napping,’ we replied. The hot tub group snickered and looked at us with pity. ‘We had sex, too,’ we added, and the looks quickly turned to approving nods and smiles, and we were accepted once again.”
Talking about sex is a prime pastime at Hedo, often with a blow-by-blow description of events. After many days of discussion, a group of guests, led by Joe from Pennsylvania, determined what constitutes a legitimate blowjob: a minimum of six strokes of pure penious. One down/up is equal to one stroke. (This count of six was a negotiation for a lost bet.) Joe now insists the count has risen to 24 to account for inflation.
What’s the Action Like?
Teasing and innuendo are constant at Hedo, but overt sex — where people are actually fondling, inserting, and licking in the daylight in public areas varies; the resort’s sordid reputation is overstated (sometimes). Some weeks, guests wonder where the action is. The axiom ‘He who hesitates masturbates’ reminds guests to be quick or miss an opportunity to see something interesting or act on an offer.
For the sex that will occur, people seldom feel pressured to join in, but, like in the real world, some pressures do exist for some people.
“You have complete control over everything you’re involved in at Hedo, says a man from Cucamonga, Calif. “Few people actually feel pressure to do something they are uncomfortable with. Hedo encourages you to think about your limits and perhaps expand them. That likely has more to do with the freedom than the booze. Discuss with your significant other the various possibilities and how you might react before they come up. Keep in mind the reaction you come up with in the comfort of your living room may not be the same one you come up with in the hot tub.”
Hedo can be whatever you want it to be. The ambiance oozes sex — it makes you want to get it on. Lying naked on this Caribbean beach with your husband, wife, significant other, or friend feels lascivious. The humor factor of open sex, though, is going down because some guests have such serious intent since the resort changed ownership in 2013 (and pumped up Lifestyle marketing). Most of the couples at Hedo are married folks adding spice in their lives. They can make love on the beach at midnight under a full moon with the warm sea lapping all around them.
“Sometimes, you wonder if you have been at Hedo too long,” says Henry from Connecticut. “One early evening, a friend and I spotted a USA Today on the beach just as we noticed two couples enjoying themselves in the bay, but we decided that reading the paper was more interesting.”
The old motto of the resort, ‘The pleasure comes in many forms,’ can be lived in many ways. “I personally came in four forms,” says one male guest. Other Hedo tenets over the years have been: ‘Be wicked for a week’ and ‘The mind, body, spirit, and soul.’ In reality, Hedo focuses on the body plus a little mind with its sheer unadulterated adult fun — including sex and silliness. Spirit and soul only resound with the romance and friendship guests find with their companions. But be careful at Hedo: although few guests would squeal on a philandering spouse, everyone else finds out because guests are gossip whores.
Lifestylers at Hedo
Some weeks are heavily populated with Lifestylers, such as the last three weeks of January. The women dress in even less during dinner, and the hot tub and nude pool are more active day and night. But even if you don’t play, many guests say Lifestyle weeks are a great time to go to Hedo for its heightened erotic ambiance; they are Hedo with an exclamation point.
Finding travel agencies that specialize in travel for the Lifestyle crowd is easy on the internet. Nearly every week, at least one specific Lifestyle group is booked at Hedo, but be aware that not all groups themselves are Lifestyle. Still, each group, regardless of its label, usually has members who play. Lifestylers run the gamut of sexual boundaries from ‘same room sex,’ where two couples have sex with their own partners in the same room, to orgies.
“You do not have to be a swinger to be welcome at Hedo. At any given time, at least 25% of the people there are not in the Lifestyle,” says Mark from Gulf Shores, Alabama. Others say the percentage is higher.
Some first-timers think living the Lifestyle is like being in a candy store. To some degree, it is, but to earn the candy, they must adhere to the protocol: Be civil, considerate, and defer to women, who direct the traffic. Unless Lifestylers hear the word ‘yes,’ they are supposed to stop their sexual advances, which is different from the past where the effort only ended on hearing ‘no.’ But the occasional man and woman (especially in the sometimes drunken sexual stew that can be the ambiance of Hedo) are not that socially intuitive to stop before being invasive.
“You do not have to worry about creepy people molesting your wife, adds Mark from Alabama. “Though it can happen, I can count on three fingers the number of times (after 16 trips) Barbie has had anything unpleasant happen, and she is insanely hot.”
A few Lifestylers go bareback (sex without a condom), but that’s not the norm. Lifestylers are not in the high-risk group for AIDS, but condom use for penetration (not oral sex) is common to prevent myriad other STDs, and folks feel comfortable requesting its use. Male-male sex is usually discreet and not open except in early December when the Bloom group visits Hedo. Many Lifestylers recommend shots for hepatitis — a good idea if you travel abroad anyway.
Where to Have Outdoor Sex
To quote a woman in the hot tub one night while intertwined with her male friend, “Not now, dear — no one’s watching.” Many guests find special joy in watching or being watched. Some Hedo guests prefer to catch the participants in the act rather than to have the act forced upon their viewing range.
You’ll see couples grooving on their inflatable rafts offshore. They feel so private out there. But everyone is watching. Guests may even applaud. “They’re disgusting,” said a woman watching a couple mating on a raft in the sea. A guest asked, “Then why do you keep watching?” She replied, “I’m just waiting for them to stop.”
Activities inside your room are your own business. If you leave your curtains open, however, people will watch. And if you leave your door open, they will also watch. Open doors may be an invitation to look but do not enter without a specific invite.
In 1997, during Kevin Levee’s first stint as the resort’s general manager, he said, “I do not condone or permit open sex in public areas. It is crude and vulgar. I want to bring it under control. Hedonism II is like a racehorse. We need to rein it in occasionally so it doesn’t burn out.”
Since 2000, reining has not occurred. You can have outdoor sex anywhere at Hedo generally except in: dining rooms and other public areas where clothes are required, the piano bar and disco, or at the shoreline (daytime).
Do people break the rules? Hell yeah. But be aware that from the high water line into the sea is public, and police, boaters with a telephoto lens, and children might witness your licentious play. The former would arrest you (public sex is illegal) and cause trouble for the resort. (Children are rare as beach walkers; most parents know better.)
Sex occurs on the beach and in or beside all the pools day or night. Orgasming into the pool water is frowned upon (sloppy, sloppy) but has occurred. If walking on the beach at night, you might only realize a couple is lying in a dark shadow when you almost step on them and hear a giggle because large spotlights glare down the nude beach at both ends and kill any night vision you might have. The jetty, also known as Pecker Point, offers little cover of darkness when the spotlights are on (which is less and less because old bulbs are seldom replaced).
Day or night, bring towels (always plentiful except after rainstorms) to avoid rope burns from the hammocks — or better yet, toss a chair pad or two in them. The prude beach also has hammocks should you forget to pack your birthday suit. (Hammocks were invented by the Taino, a branch of the Arawaks, who were the people in Jamaica when Europeans first arrived.) G & D of Minnesota define sex in the hammock: “A hilarious circus act of awkward positions resulting in waffle butt and sore knees: entertainment well worth the price of admission.”
Playrooms Add Spice
Though many Hedo guests like outdoor sex, the resort also has three playrooms for inside group or one-on-one play. The playrooms are open to couples, single women, and invited single men. You do not have to be Lifestylers to enter them. And you don’t have to have sex in any of them, but you do have to be nude.
If you like, you can have sex with just your companion at any level of play. And you can just watch, but ask permission if you are close by. If you two just cuddle on a mattress, that’s okay, too.
Most people go to the playrooms so that they don’t mess up their room, to be watched, or to find others to play with. But the odds of finding new playmates is higher while socializing outside the playrooms.
Impromptu sex by the nude pool is facilitated by using the always-open, doorless DayPlay room (a.k.a. fuck hut) by the hot tub: it has sheets on the raised beds and often condoms, towels, and wipes, too.
The air-conditioned building behind the tennis courts (once the squash court) is now a secondary playroom called the Social Room. It opens when nighttime rains come because it is fully roofed. Its 10 to 12 mattresses are spread out on the floor in a gymnasium-like hurricane shelter.
The main playroom, though, is at the spa building, which at night (opening 10-11 p.m. to 3 p.m.-ish) becomes the Romping Shop (the name of a popular Jamaican dancehall song). Some guests prefer calling it the Romper Room after the children’s TV program syndicated from 1952 to 1994. You might see or experience cuddle puddles there. The Romping Shop has semi-private and wide-open areas, some roofed, some not. Clean sheets and towels are available, and etiquette speaks to swapping in clean sheets afterward.
You can be as wild or mild as you wish in there with consensual companions. You can ask to join others or ask others to join you. The main playroom has a dungeon setup, but hard-core folks find it flimsy.
Is Hedo’s Sex Scene for You?
Hedo’s sex scene isn’t for everyone. If you are in a difficult relationship or one that is riddled by jealousy, you might want to try another vacation because your spouse might be checked out or hit on at Hedo. Just assess the strength of your relationship and your personalities. But don’t spend a lot of time fretting. As one guest says, “Go, feel the freedom, and bask in it.”
About this Article
By Chris Santilli. ©2019.
This article, protected by copyright, is an edited excerpt from the 3rd edition update for 2019 of the travel/humor book, The Naked Truth About Hedonism II.
About the Author
Chris Santilli, an award-winning writer and inveterate naked gal, has visited Hedonism II 60+ times since 1985. She wrote the cheeky, totally unauthorized travel/humor book, The Naked Truth About Hedonism II, to tell the insider tips and unvarnished tales of the naughtiness and hilarity of what really goes on at Hedonism II, a very adult resort in Jamaica. This updated 3rd edition has three formats: print (color or B/W), ebook (ePub or Kindle), and audiobook. For more information, see chrissantilli.com.
This excerpt originally appeared in the October 2019 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.