How Do you Pick your “Poison?”

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How Do you Pick your "Poison?"

What is it, exactly, that determines your choice in who you play with or gets to play with you, either way? Did you ever pick a kitty that turned out to be a tiger in the sack and left you a bit, well… shook?

Having a liberal, hedonistic lifestyle is a wonderful thing for many. You have your fair share of dream encounters, hilarious situations, and special relationships that monogamous people cannot even begin to imagine. There are exceptions to the rule, yet you usually keep your lifestyle a bit hidden from family and friends. Sometimes, your “sexy friends” can become real friends as well, but they are most likely not your next-door neighbor. You might play with some horizontal friends more often for a while, as you just click phenomenally well, and then before any real feelings develop, things usually come to an end, and you move on.

Along the way, there may have been some disappointing adventures. That one couple that looked so promising online was so much older in real life than their pictures; some turned out to be all talk, no walk; others turned out to be a hopeless drama couple; some were even complete assholes. Yep, there’s those, too! Shit happens. Ah, well, no biggie! You gracefully bow out, and it’s off to the next exciting thing!

Shit Happens!

The other day, I read one of those stories of the disappointing kind. This particular couple had been dabbling in the lifestyle for a bit and took the plunge for a full-swap date with another couple. Nothing special, of course, however…

The lady of this couple had specifically selected a fine couple because the gentleman was attractive to her, and the lady was not ugly yet definitely quite dull-looking, which suited her perfectly. After all, she felt much more comfortable for her partner to play with ladies that were less attractive than she was.

When it was time to play, the clothes came off, and then the unexpected happened. The rather dull lady turned out to have the tight and curvy body of a goddess and the flexibility of a contortionist. As things progressed, all the lady who picked the couple could do was listen to and watch the ferocious groaning and moaning, screaming wild sex that her husband was having next to her and finally watch how her husband climaxed harder and louder than he’d ever had with herself. She wasn’t as giving as she initially thought she was, and it created a rift in the relationship as she ended up with insecurity about her body and sexual performance. The experience marked the end of their swingers’ life. Oh dear.

Positive Thinking

Now, we all know that jealousy really doesn’t work in the lifestyle, and it’s a well-known fact that swingers come in all shapes and sizes. We make it a point to steer clear of any body shaming, and we’re super comfortable with and in our own bodies. Furthermore, looks are not as important than the click with another couple. But, of course, no one really denies that the initial attraction has a lot to do with looks and vibe combined. At travel events, in particular, this is most noticeable. When those participating in sexy games connect in a huge way — whereas perhaps in a purely online setting, they would totally dismiss each other’s profile — it’s a wonderful thing to watch.

Question Time

But still, it’s an interesting notion that some ladies or guys pick and choose their sexy friends based on their own insecurity.

Let’s get brutally honest here, as I’d like to ask you the following questions:

1. In what way do the looks of others influence your decisions in selecting your horizontal friends?

2. Do you select couples (or singles) that make you feel more secure about your own looks?

3. Do you think that drop-dead gorgeous couples perhaps get less action because of insecurity of regular-looking couples? Or actually more action?
(Much like celebrities seemingly having a harder time with finding dates.)

Leaving your serious thoughts in the comment section below is very much appreciated!

The Travelling Goddess

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