Allen shares his frustrations with judgemental lawmakers and other critics of non-monogamy, explaining that the community is misunderstood and deserves a chance to shed light on the lifestyle.
Well, here we are again!
I know I said that I would stick to more of our sexual stories (LOL), but I would like to talk about something because it’s been happening countrywide a lot lately. It’s the local politicians, lawmakers, and vanilla folks that truly do not understand the lifestyle. The “attacks” on lifestyle parties, events, and clubs have been extremely high, and it’s been high as hell in my so-called “Sin City” hometown of Las Vegas, NV. The so-called lawmakers want to shut down or heavily fine any lifestyle event/party. My thought is that it is plain fucking stupid and wrong. These people believe that all we want to do is FUCK, which is so far from the truth.
Lawmakers Refuse to Understand Us
Many lawmakers have an open mind about the gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual communities, which we think are both GREAT and AWESOME. My thing is if these lawmakers are OK with that, why in the hell is it so hard for them to also believe that a non-monogamous relationship is OK? Most of us know that many of the lifestyle or swinger clubs we attend are cleaner and better maintained than a 5-star restaurant. It angers me that all these lawmakers are trying to close down every lifestyle event or house party/club. Their understanding of the lifestyle is so misconstrued and close-minded.
It’s funny how some lawmakers want to stay out of others’ personal business, sexual life, or religion when it’s “normal.” However, the minute it’s about the lifestyle (what’s considered an “abnormal sex life”), the lawmakers want to shut it down and say it is not right and cannot happen. However, as always, most freak out over things beyond their personal understanding. We, as a community, need to educate others about the real truth of the lifestyle. Yes, the lifestyle is not for everyone, and no one should force the lifestyle on anyone.
The Truth About the Lifestyle
The lifestyle is about a community of respectful, open-minded people that do not care about color, religion, beliefs, sexual orientation, or sexual pleasure. A non-monogamous relationship does share or swap partners, but we fully respect each other’s wishes.
I have no Ph.D., nor do I have a degree in relationships, nor am I a sex expert. I have read articles and believe that open-minded, fully-communicated, and, yes, non-monogamous relationships have a far lower divorce rate and produces more happiness than most monogamous relationships. The reason I say most is that many monogamous relationships have stayed together because of one major reason: communication — 1000% communication. I cannot overstate how important communication is in a relationship.
I do realize I am rambling on, but 1) it makes me feel better, and 2) maybe someone is reading this thinking, ‘that is everything I’m thinking and don’t know how to put it in words.’ See, there are many reasons why couples and singles have decided to be in the lifestyle. Brandy and I got into the lifestyle to enhance an already amazing relationship and sex life. Now, the part of the swinging lifestyle that we are mainly part of is the swapping of partners (boy-girl-boy-girl) or a threesome (boy-girl-boy or girl-boy-girl). I will say one thing: do not get into the lifestyle unless your relationship is secure… and I cannot say it enough — have full communication in your relationship.
The “This Is Life with Lisa Ling” (Season 6) that was done at NIN was so awesome that I had to own it on VUDU. She kept such an open mind on the whole thing that she now realizes that the lifestyle community is just as normal as a vanilla relationship. The lifestyle is just the same as any relationship; the only difference is we like and get turned on by sharing.
It sucks that America is still a shy country when it comes to sex and having a sexually active and healthy relationship. If these lawmakers would realize that the lifestyle is a very responsible, respectful, and loving community, life could be far less stressful. It doesn’t matter if you are not in “our community,” we are respectful to anyone — probably more so than many people outside the lifestyle.
With that, I will close this article. I want to thank all of you who have read my articles for the past few months and welcome all the new readers.
If you would like to follow Brandy and me, look for “MrAndMrsR702” or “Allen Brandy Vegas” on most Lifestyle and social media.
Until next time… Life is short. Live it to the MAX.
This article originally appeared in the April 2020 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.