Flirty Nola shares her lifestyle journey and talks about hotwifing and how she developed Kissy Games and Mischievous Mix sex toy shop.
Just in case you were not aware — relationships take a lot of work. Keeping your sex life interesting, adventurous and fun is tough, and if you do not commit to working on it things can go downhill quickly. I learned this the hard way.
Not that long ago, my husband and I were in a miserable rut. We had two young kids and had been relocated twice in 11 months. My husband worked long hours and I found myself stuck at home with an infant in a state where we had no friends or family. I was depressed. My husband was stressed. Our relationship was strained, and our sex life was non-existent. The decline had been gradual but undeniable. We both made half-hearted attempts to get things back on track, but we were in such a funk that neither of us really knew what to do. It was bad and we were both concerned about our future.
Then, one night, everything changed. The kids were in bed and we were outside having a drink when my husband pulled out an unopened Adult Truth or Dare game that had been stashed away in a closet. Out of boredom, he started asking me random “truths.” Fast forward six hours and we were a changed couple. We had talked about fantasies that we had never shared. We had opened up about some really difficult issues. We cried a little and laughed a lot. We had also had some pretty amazing sex. The next morning our relationship was different. A weight had been lifted and we had begun a journey back to being best friends. We couldn’t wait for our next opportunity to play Truth or Dare.
Venturing into Adult Games
That one game of Truth or Dare transformed our marriage and led us to explore our passions and desires in ways that we never could have imagined. We started buying new naughty games and found ourselves looking forward to our weekends more than we had in years. Each game took us in new directions. We explored fetishes, we dug deeper into fantasies, we added toys, and, best of all, we talked. Games are amazing facilitators of communication. They open up spaces that may have become awkward or embarrassing over time. You no longer have to ask your partner to try something new — the game simply commands you to do it! Through games, I discovered activities that I didn’t even know existed before. One of the best things about games is the role they can play in uncovering things one or both of you aren’t so keen on, helping to define boundaries in a fun and non-intimidating way. Games ended up turbocharging our relationship, and we have never looked back.
Over time we realized that our situation was not unique. In conversations with girl and guy friends, I realized that a lot of couples were in the same boat. Everyday life can dim your spark, and it is hard to get the passion (or even healthy communication) burning again. If games could help me, I knew that they could help others. The problem was that adult games were hard to find — sex stores would carry one or two as “novelties,” but there was no existing store dedicated to only games. To fix this, I founded Kissy Games in 2016.
Kissy Games is now the largest adult game store online. I carry a huge selection of erotic card, dice, and board games and have recently added party and drinking games. Two years ago, I added lingerie and sensual massage collections (because if you are going to stay home and play, you might as well dress the part and throw in a massage) and began setting up booths at Lifestyle Clubs and Adult Conferences. I now also offer more games designed for groups or parties, and I have seen what an amazing ice breaker naughty games can be at Lifestyle parties. Sexy games have become my obsession, and I love helping couples pick the perfect game.
From Games to the Lifestyle
For me, games were a gateway drug. They built a foundation of communication, trust, and exploration that gave me the ability to let loose and try things that I had never considered before. They led me into the Lifestyle. Baby steps at first, but as time went on, I got more and more comfortable with the concept, and we found our comfort zone as a couple. We have met amazing friends and had some pretty thrilling adventures interacting with other couples and singles across the country. It’s funny that I would have thought an open non-monogamous relationship was insane at the beginning of this. Now we have discovered the “Stag/Vixen” dynamic, and we have found that I love being a Hotwife! Without games to get things started, I would never have even known what a Hotwife was.
Recently I expanded my little online presence and launched the Mischievous Minx. I love playing with toys (and I have quite the collection these days, which has made quarantine a lot more tolerable) but always had trouble buying them. My problem is that I never knew exactly what I was looking for. I have specific brands/tastes with other products, but with sex toys, I never even knew what my options were. I am a girl who likes to browse. I know what I want once I see it. With that in mind, I have built a site designed for browsing. It is huge, and when shoppers enter, I want them to explore and get sidetracked by something unusual. I want them to see new things and have a few “OMG!” reactions. The Minx is a place to discover toys or fetishes that you might not have been aware of and to expand your awareness of just how varied and amazing the world of adult toys really is. There is more to sex toys than wands and Rabbits and Fleshlights. So far, I have been my most regular customer, and I have no complaints!
My evolution from bored wife to adventurous Hotwife and entrepreneur has been a lot of work both physically and emotionally — but it has been an experience that has made my life much fuller. My marriage and friendships are much stronger and more exciting, and my confidence both personally and professionally grows daily. The journey has really only just begun, and I can’t wait to see what comes next!
Kissy Games can be found at www.KissyGames.com
MischievousMinx can be found at www.MischievousMinx.com
This article originally appeared in the May 2020 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.