Whether you’re in the swingers lifestyle or not, you’ve likely heard about friends with benefits. You’re also certainly familiar with the term ‘fuck buddies’ as you probably have a few of those amid your swinging circles.
While they both involve sex, they differ in that swinger lifestyle friends with benefits involve partners involved in a mutual friendship. These are real friends who find each other attractive and take their relationship into the bedroom, but don’t go further than remaining ‘friends’ who have sex.
Fuck buddies are simply people you hook up with and have no other real outside connection beyond sex. To maintain a friendship and enjoy sexual perks, you’ll want to keep these rules in mind to succeed and avoid problems down the line.
Rule #1: Be Prepared for Emotional Complexities
Friends with benefits (FWBs) can become complex if you get too involved. Take advantage of the best part of a relationship—the sex—without dealing with all the hassles of everyday life like bills and such. If you can’t compartmentalize the difference between your friend and sometimes lover, you might not be cut out for these arrangements.
Rule #2: No Dating Allowed
Swingers often go out on dates with their playmates, but typically as a precursor to dessert—hooking up. However, this might not be true in a committed swinger lifestyle relationship. In a FWB arrangement, members of the couple don’t go out on dates alone with their FWB play partner, as those are associated primarily with singles seeking a deeper romantic relationship.
Rule #3. Avoid Starting Up a FWB Situation with Long Time Friends
You don’t want to risk sacrificing a long-term friendship by getting involved sexually. The best FWB situations stem from friends you’ve recently connected with that shares the feeling of mutual attraction with you. In this sense, you might want to avoid meeting this new person’s friends, who might not be down with their outside swinging fun sessions with you.
Rule #4. Don’t Fall in Love
There is a high chance that one or both of you will be tempted to catch feelings at times, and this is entirely normal. However, allowing these feelings to grow and blossom drastically changes the landscape of a friends with benefits situation. This can create drama and ruin the arrangement unless both of you are feeling the same way and opt to transition into a full fledged relationship.
Rule #5: Don’t Text—Sext!
Be straight and to the point with your FWB partner. Don’t get too mushy when sex is on the agenda, but be direct with a text with statements like, “Are you ready for me?” or “My place or yours?” to avoid confusion about your intentions.
Rule #6: Jealousy is Not Allowed
Whether it’s you, your FWB or perhaps even your main squeeze there’s no room for jealousy in these relationships. Your goal is simply to satisfy yours and their sexual cravings, but that doesn’t mean you can’t meet new people or have other FWB set ups with others.
Stick with these rules and you should be well prepared to embark on a FWB relationship without all the fuss that comes with full-time partnerships.
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