Read ASN Lifestyle Magazine’s interview with sex education and adult entertainment industry powerhouse Casey Carter.
Casey Carter is an erotic author, on-air personality, and fetish lifestyle expert. Her knowledge and expertise have made her an industry force whose influence has both educated and motivated publishing professionals, entertainment leaders, and the general mainstream. Whether in the classroom, out in the field at various nation-wide events, in the boardroom (or the bedroom), Casey Carter focuses her professional endeavors on the benefits of effective communication, intimacy, and sexual awareness.
Who is Casey Carter? “I am a sex-positive edutainer, bridging the gap between vanilla sex and lifestyle experiences through social media, workshops, one on one conversations, and live events.”
OK, let’s dig deeper and get to know Casey a little better.
Why did you decide to become a Sex & Relationship Educator?
Actually, I started as a writer. While going through a divorce, I journaled as a way of dealing with the experience. I found myself expressing my sexual frustration in my writing, and that led to a lot of masturbating. I began reading erotica to help stimulate my self-pleasure, and Zane became one of my favorite writers due in part to her Cinemax series, Zane’s Sex Chronicles and The Jump Off. Reading about and seeing strong women of color in control of their sexuality was empowering. I began writing my own short erotic stories; it was therapeutic and exciting. I shared my stories with the least likely of readers — men. It was their encouragement that convinced me to publish my work.
It was difficult trying to promote erotic stories without limits, so I started [email protected], a live wbondeekly Twitter/Periscope show. I read my stories at first, and then I invited other writers to let me read their work. That elicited lots of discussion of the topics in the stories, which ultimately led to teaching. DMs filled with questions and people confessing secrets to me. [email protected] became a weekly class in all things related to sex — from diet and exercise to toys, to communication, to kinks and fetishes. There was nothing off-limits, and it was a safe space.
How does your family feel about what you do?
My family is not only supportive, they ask questions, contribute ideas, and assist with my work. I grew up in a very sex-positive household. Sometimes, mom said stuff that made me blush. The things mom said back then would have her girlfriends clutching their pearls. Today, mom proudly shares my photos and videos with her girlfriends. She brags about her daughter in the corset and fishnets. The support of the ones I love makes what I do easier. Knowing I do not have to hide from the people that mean the most to me gives me courage. But there are also some people in my life who are uncomfortable with the subject matter of my work. Once I know, I respect their feelings and refrain from exposing them to my world. Fortunately, I haven’t had any negative experiences that have had any influence on me. With all those that matter, life is the same as always, and our relationships are intact.
What does a day in the life of Casey Carter look like?
There is no such thing as a typical day. I juggle family, work, the business of sex, and myself. Each day I’m learning new things new to deepen my knowledge. I spent a lot of time researching topics to discuss on my live show, [email protected], which aired on Periscope/Twitter, was permanently disabled (Must have been something I said. LOL.) Fortunately, thanks to Exxxotica.tv (an offshoot of Exxxotica Expo), I’m back co-hosting a weekly show called Boobtube. My audience is much bigger thanks to this opportunity, so being present on social media is a must. I share my experiences, my kinks, and my fetishes, hoping to encourage others to see me as a safe space as well as a source for information. More importantly, I hope to give them tools to help them be transparent and more intimate with the ones they love in order to have the experiences they desire.
What is your favorite part about what you do?
I love interacting with my audience. When viewers engage with not just me but with each other, it’s a reminder that people want to talk about sex; they want to engage and be heard. I meet people at conventions who recognized me and waited patiently to say “Hi” and others who don’t have the nerve to approach, later say they saw me, but I looked busy. The group that brings me the most joy is the women that say they want to try wearing a corset because I make it look easy. I make them look fashionable. Or they love the strength and sexiness I embody. They give me the encouragement to keep doing what I’m doing.
What do you like least?
The conservative movement is a total buzzkill. Their attempts to silence the voice of the “Adult” community is ridiculous. Sex educators are targets alongside sex workers and pornography due to the vocabulary and imagery used. The conservative community’s influence over sex in schools and the media is dangerous. The money allocated to sex education in schools has created more fear and shame than education. It has left many young girls more confused and scared versus empowered and knowledgeable. The terms of service notices on the social sites are like moving targets. Personally, I think we’re getting dangerously close to losing our freedom of speech. Under the guise of combating sex trafficking, ALL things SEX is under attack.
Who is the target audience for your erotic events and sex-pertise?
I love the Fifty Shades of Grey community. They’re hungry and curious. That series exposed them to a world that captured their imagination, and they want to know more. The only problem was they weren’t sure where to begin or who to ask. I presented myself as a safe space. I talked about the kinky stuff they heard about, and I invited them to ask the questions they were embarrassed to even think about, let alone say out loud. This often led to them sharing secrets after which, they would tell me how much better they felt.
Another segment of my audience is the already-kink-friendly. They’re a lot of fun because they’re happy to meet others like themselves and enjoy hearing something new that they can try. I believe encounters should be void of judgment, so everyone feels free to express themselves.
In December of 2019, I hosted an erotic fetish ball that was packed with kinksters of all levels. There were sensual performances and BDSM demonstrations. I enjoyed watching my lifestyle friends mingle with curious voyeurs. It was a safe space for everyone to explore, experience something new, and leave hungry for more.
Speaking of 2019, that’s when you turned 50. What advice would you give women about maturing into their own sexuality?
I’ve always been sexually free, thanks to my mom, but when I turned 50, I began to appreciate that freeness more. I’m eager to explore and try the things that excite me without having to process who will find out and what they will think. I also love telling people my age and seeing their eyes get wide with disbelief. I turned 40 when my ex-husband and I separated. I thought I would be undesirable because I was middle-aged with two kids. Instead, I was beating guys off with a stick. I became their fantasy, their fetish. I embraced who I was, a perfectly flawed woman, divine in all that I am. Many of us grow up with shame regarding our sexuality. We go to extreme lengths to be seen as desirable and sexual. I have an easy comfort with my sexual-self, and there are many adventures I’d like to explore.
Why is kink and sexuality for People of Color different, especially Women?
This is one of those questions that can change the atmosphere in a room full of Black people. What I’m about to say is strictly my opinion; I don’t speak on behalf of the community, but where do I begin? A comment I hear frequently is about African Americans being fetishized. Non-POCs portray black men as “mandingos,” bulls, possessors of oversized penises, and capable of brutal acts of rape. White men fear and loathe them, and while white women want to be had by them. African American women are viewed as built to breed. We’re goddesses worthy of worship for our strength. White men long to be controlled by us, and white women hate us but pay top dollar to look like us in every way possible.
We tend to hide our kinks because of shame. The same people who secretly desire us are some of the ones that make us believe we are nasty, dirty savages. Our only purpose is to breed and work the fields.
The church further contributed to the belief that kinks are unnatural, evil, and cause us to be an abomination to God. The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was due to the deviant behavior of its inhabitants and their unwillingness to change their “wicked ways.” The thought of an entire community being burned to the ground because not one “good” person could be found is horrific.
Sitting in a strip club, I had a conversation about bondage. A twenty-something young man said he couldn’t get into bondage because it reminded him too much of slavery. Our minds are filled with so many conflicting ideas that if we decide to explore our kinks, we feel enormous shame and/or guilt. The feelings follow us from relationship to relationship, tainting our sexual experience. We walk a very narrow rope, and while some of us do it with ease, some of us lose our balance and never recover.
What do you do in your free time?
I binge-watch television shows I would not normally watch. I read the magazines stacked up on my desk. Something from one of these two activities always sparks an idea. But my most favorite thing to do when I’m not working is to sit on the beach with a cocktail, baking in the sun. And when I can’t do that, I lounge at the pool with a fat cigar.
What’s coming up next for Casey?
I’m going to go back to writing erotic short stories. Actually, I’m going to finish the over 20 stories I started. I love that space. It allows me to dig deep into my kink spaces and explore my fetishes. I love teaching my pervertible workshop. I’ve had the pleasure of presenting at FetishCon, Exxxotica, Sex Down South, and Club Kink Jacksonville. However, thanks to COVID19, in-person learning is not an option right now, so I’m crafting a way to teach it virtually without losing any of the excitement of the live experience. I’m also a content creator for several clip sites, but I took a break to focus on some other projects. Recently, I began posting again, and I’m totally loving it. My specialties are cigar/smoking fetish, humiliation, and JOI. I get a kick out of creating custom videos because it allows me to stretch my imagination. But what I’m most excited about is bringing back [email protected] My show was the one place I could give you all of Casey. Sunny Megatron called me an edutainer (educator and entertainer). I thought the word fit like a glove. My joy is at its peak when I can give them food for thought while also entertaining their senses. That’s a feeling I’ll chase every day of the week.
Any final comments?
As a sex and relationship educator, sex is everything. There are many commonly held beliefs, but it’s our individual experiences that have the greatest influence on what we believe to be true. I encourage people to embrace their experiences. Do what feels good to you, even if it contradicts expert opinion.
One of my favorite sayings is, “I’ve learned to become comfortable being uncomfortable.” Comfortability breeds contempt. I believe this wholeheartedly. The anxiety of change or trying something new is overwhelming. Dancing with the devil you know versus the one you don’t still leaves you with a bad dance partner. I constantly push myself beyond my limits because it helps to shape my view and allows me to see more, thus ever-expanding my knowledge. New experiences are like a shot of adrenaline. They keep me moving forward, and they keep me wanting more. That’s the Casey Carter Experience.
Casey Carter is a New Yorker based in Atlanta, GA. Follow her on her social platforms and visit her website to keep up with her experiences at www.casey-carter.com.
This article originally appeared in the August 2020 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.