Lifestyle couples typically face the same challenges of vanilla couples and in some cases even more so. The good news is that most partners engaging in the swingers lifestyle already have strong communication skills—or they wouldn’t be able to survive these experiences as a unified whole.
Enduring relationships require continual effort to sustain levels of greater happiness and fulfillment for all participants and this was likely the fuel that fired up “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. The love test book discusses in detail the love languages between couples and a way to put your relationship skills to the test.
What The Heck Are ‘Love Languages?’
No matter what formal language you speak, being openly loving with your partner typically calls for five basic acts. According to Dr. Chapman these linguistics include ways to show that they matter and you care. The basics to the love test are:
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Affirming Words
- Acts of Service
The true focus of the book is to help one develop communication skills that their partner/s actually ‘hear’ and ‘understand’ for what they are—expressions of love and compassion.
Are You Sharing the Same Love Language?
Sometimes we get stuck on ‘stuck’ meaning that we can spend a lot of time with a special someone without actually communicating our gratitude for that time. Wasting time together is a moot point, and the difference between a GREAT relationship and a watered down one calls for more than panty dropping on the floor.
If you feel like you’re losing that sweet connection emotionally or physically, you might just not be speaking the same love language. Ask yourself how you can show more love physically and with quality time in addition to more affirming words besides, “I love you and want you.”
Are you offering gifts without being asked and doing those little things that mean a lot without being nudged? If so, you’re on the right track! Even making a small breakfast, bringing a cup of coffee or picking a flower up can speak volumes!
Becoming Bilingual in Love
If you are feeling like you are in a rut and want to learn this duality in languages of love, there is a short quiz to help you gain some insight. First off, be sure to ask your partner what they want and need from you, as they are the only ones that truly know. However, sometimes they may not feel like saying it or aren’t sure themselves, but thinking about your partner’s love languagecan help you get a good start either way.
Ask your self…
- Does my partner likes to receive gifts of he/she prefers to be held closely?
- Does my partner like words of affirmations? Or does he/she likes it when I help with the chores on the weekend?
- Is your love for your SO stronger when you spend quality time together?
Taking the time to think about the love test will show great effort that ‘you care.’ Diversity amidst us is normal, so learning more about love and the ways we express it can only make life better!
While the swingers lifestyle isn’t for everyone, many committed swinger couples report having happier and more fulfilling relationships. In fact, many claim that swinging ’saved’ their relationship thanks to the numerous lessons to be learned by partner swapping experiences. Here are six key lessons that swinging can bring to light. 1. Swinger Couples Have Honesty Requirements Swinging calls for an abundance of trust between participants and lying is simply not tolerated. Couples find that they become more honest and open with their feelings and desires once they enter the lifestyle. READ MORE
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