Did you know that squirting orgasms are a sex skill that can be learned? Find out how you can learn how to have — and give — squirting orgasms!
Did you know that squirting orgasms are a sex skill that can be learned?
And YES, you can learn how to have — and give — squirting orgasms!
After teaching hundreds of women how to squirt and refining my teaching through extensive fieldwork, I’m convinced that Squirting Orgasms are a matter of permission, education, practice, and mastery.
Why should you care? Vulva owners who can squirt are typically multi-orgasmic, a sexual skill set that affords them to enjoy a greater capacity for orgasmic pleasure than their non-squirting counterparts. That’s why as a Sexologist, I think it’s an important skill to acquire.
In this post, I will define Squirting Orgasms and how it’s often a misunderstood type of orgasm available to all vulva owners*. I debunk the myths, define the terms, and help you understand the elements you need to know to achieve a Squirting Orgasm.
* Throughout this post, I’ll use the term “vulva owners” and she/her pronouns to reference those people who have biologically female genitals; vulvas and vaginal canals. This is a discussion of physiology, not one of sexual identification nor orientation.
Why is Understanding Squirting Important?
Squirting orgasms, also known as female ejaculation, can be a divisive topic between those who believe they’re real and do experience them and those who think squirting is just a cinematographic trick reserved for porn stars.
The fact is, squirting is a REAL orgasmic experience!
Often, we may feel sexual shame because we lack understanding of our bodies and those of our partners. If left unacknowledged, sexual shame can lower interest in sex, hijack sexual pleasure, and rob you of orgasmic experience; ultimately, it WILL affect sexual engagement between partners.
In an ¹International Survey, it was found that “For most women (78.8%) and their partners (90%), female ejaculation is an enrichment of their sexual lives.” This was a study that included women from diverse cultures and backgrounds. North American vulva owners can learn a lot from their peers around the world by de-stigmatizing squirting and aspire to experience female ejaculation; understand it for what it is, and derive great sexual and emotional pleasure from squirting orgasms!
We CAN learn to let go of sexual shame, whether these feelings are the result of events that have occurred in our past, our cultural, religious, or political upbringing, societal taboos about female pleasure, or even our own thoughts and beliefs of who we are and how things ought to work.
Working with my clients over the years, I have seen firsthand the power of giving someone permission to own their body and experience… with orgasmic results. The proof is in their pleasure: opening up and letting go of sexual shame CAN break the barriers to enjoying beautiful experiences like sexual connection and orgasmic exploration.
The bottom line: enhanced sexual confidence and understanding the capabilities of your body or your partner’s body can set you free, create intimacy between partners, and enrich your sex lives.
And you DESERVE to experience pleasure!
Now, before we get started defining what a Squirting Orgasm is, let’s quickly check off a few of the most common misconceptions about squirting. Do any of the following myths sound familiar?
Squirting is NOT a Skill Reserved Just for Porn Stars!
Many people’s initial introduction to squirting is via the adult entertainment industry. On more than a few occasions I have heard people tell me that squirting is nothing more than a visual effect for porn.
Sure, it’s certainly possible that some porn stars and directors may use some behind-the-scenes tricks to produce more dramatic squirting visuals for the viewer’s benefit, but there are also porn stars who can experience (and have had) genuine squirting orgasms on camera.
Squirting IS real. Squirting IS a source of great sexual pleasure for many. And squirting IS a skill that comes naturally to some (so to speak!), and for others, squirting orgasm skills can be cultivated, learned, and developed by all.
Squirting is NOT Pee!
I’ve also heard many others suggest that squirting is just urine.
Unfortunately, this is a very common shame-inducing misunderstanding that I hear quite often, and it’s one that can prevent people from wanting to try it themselves, or from letting themselves squirt with a partner because they fear being judged or being accused of “peeing on” their partner if they squirt during sexual play.
Female ejaculate, which is the squirted fluid, is actually made of glandular fluid (water, enzymes, protein, glucose, and traces of uric acid). Female ejaculate from the Skene’s glands is evacuated through the urethra at the moment of orgasm. But no, it’s not pee.
Even ²Dictionary.com gets it wrong, so how’s a person to figure it out themselves?! They define squirting as “a slang term for female ejaculation. In pornography, it usually features a voluminous, projectile stream from the vagina. Science says it’s largely just urine. So, there’s that.”
It’s really no wonder there are so many misconceptions and levels of shame attached to squirting in our sex-negative culture — and it’s hard to find any consistent and accurate information!
These are just a few reasons why I’ve spent so much time learning and teaching about this important gateway to pleasure.
Female Ejaculation is NOT the ONLY Kind of Orgasm.
Our North American culture (and other cultures as well) are preoccupied with the male orgasm, culminating most often in ejaculation. We also see this as being incredibly prevalent within the porn industry; typically, a scene ends when the male performer ejaculates.
Coupled with the portrayal of squirting in the porn industry, some people are under the impression that a squirting orgasm is the only “true” female orgasm, the “Holy Grail” of orgasms, if you will.
Rest assured, this is not the case.
Squirting orgasms are just one type of orgasm that vulva owners can enjoy. Fortunately, the buffet of orgasmic pleasure available is plentiful! Just like choosing which delicious dessert you want to indulge in, when you have a buffet of sex skills available to you, then YOU get to choose which miraculous orgasm you want to experience.
Squirting Orgasms CAN be Learned and Experienced!
While this may be a controversial opinion, I stand by my statement that ALL vulva-owners CAN squirt. Once you learn what is happening during a squirting orgasm, where in your body the fluids are coming from, and what components are needed to have a squirting experience, I’ve seen this juicy orgasm become accessible to all vulva owners.
Just like any skill, squirting requires permission (AKA consent), education, and practice before mastery.
Now, with all those common myths debunked, let’s talk about what squirting is and why it’s such a sought-after sex skill.
So, What IS Squirting?
For lack of good resources, I developed the following definitions for clarity.
A term used for female ejaculation.
E.g., I squirted last night!
The physical behavior of glandular fluid evacuating from the urethra that a person with female genitals experiences while having an orgasm.
E.g., She squirted while having that orgasm!
A type of orgasm experienced by those who have female genitals.
E.g., She had a squirting orgasm.
A specific type of orgasm characterized by its intensity and female ejaculate evacuating the body with force as the pelvic floor is contracted.
Both the buildup of fluid and the pelvic floor contractions can create an arc of the fluid as it leaves her body. (Squirting!)
My Top 3 Elements for Squirting Orgasms
Squirting is a type of orgasm. So, before you go ahead and learn how to make yourself (and/or someone else) squirt, it’s first important to understand what an orgasm is and how to feel it in your body.
Here are my top 3 Elements of Squirting Orgasms to understand:
- Female Physiology
- Understanding female physiology is a prerequisite to learning advanced forms of orgasm like squirting. While the entire body offers sites for erotic stimulation, there are 5 specific orgasmic Hot Spots within the vaginal canal alone that are wired to the brain for the purpose of pleasure.
- Outside the vaginal canal, you’ll find the 6th Hot Spot and the one you’re probably most familiar with — the Clitoris with its 10,000 nerve endings, whose sole purpose is to provide sexual pleasure.
- Female Arousal Cycle
- Foreplay and building up physical and psychological anticipation to a potentially orgasmic experience provides connection of mind and body, which is the lifeblood of connective sex. Aspire to make this the best part of your lovemaking.
- My advice: slow down, take your time and explore your partner’s magnificent body — looking for signs of arousal every step of the way; not getting visible or auditory feedback — pause, communicate and ask what turns that person on, what feels good, and so on!
- Your Beautiful Mind
- Your mind is the conductor that pulls all the other elements together. Your mind sets the context or framework to create delight, tension, and orgasm — what I refer to as Your Art.
Everyone’s Art is different and that makes for a wonderful adult sandbox to play and experiment in. The sensations you create with the 6 erotic Hot Spots — the pressures, patterns, and timing of how you stimulate those areas — comprise the collaborative Sexual Art between two (or more) lovers.
Squirting is Like Making Music
If you like analogies, think of music. You have instruments, musicians, an eight-count beat, and some level of developed skill. Those are the elements that every musician has, but what makes a musician great is the passion and “feel for it” that a musician has when bringing the musical elements together.
It’s the same with connective sex… the kind of sexual exchange that creates those warm feelings that last long after your clothes have been put back on and makes you want to keep coming back for more.
We must first understand those individual elements before exploring how they come together to create sensations, erotic tension, and yes, even squirting orgasms, if that’s what you seek.
Two (or more) lovers can become like musicians in a jam session. One feeding off the other to create something magical, passionate, and intensely unique for that moment in time.
Sexual education, permission, and practice can lead to these kinds of experiences over and over and over again.
Mastering Squirting Orgasms
Take your (and your partner’s) orgasms to the next level!
My digital Masterclass, Squirting Orgasms: From Myth to Mastery, has guided hundreds of people to experience the pleasure of squirting for themselves!
Plus, you’ll learn more about the art of the female orgasm that you can indulge in, whether you’re in the privacy of your own home, or prefer exhibitionistic ecstasy in a public swingers club.
Don’t take my word for it — here’s what a few of my students had to say about the course:
“Fantastic! Moving forward… this course is now required for anyone who wants to date and or certainly play with me.” Single Female, mid-20s
“We were blown away by how much we learned — this is a Masterclass on Female Orgasm… you should charge $300 for this class.” Couple, mid-30s
“I thought I was a good lover… But wow, I had no idea how much better I could be at helping my partners experience pleasure.” Male, late-40s
Get started on your squirting journey now!
As an SDC member, you can use your exclusive promo code SDC20 to get $20 off my Masterclass, for a limited time only, August 1st through Labor Day, 2021.
Looking forward to helping you — and your lucky partner(s) — enhance your orgasmic potential today!
- Wimpissinger, Florian, et al. “International Online Survey: Female Ejaculation Has a Positive Impact on Women’s and Their Partners’ Sexual Lives.” BJU International, vol. 112, no. 2, 25 Jan. 2013, pp. E177–E185, 10.1111/j.1464-410x.2012.11562.x. Accessed 12 Dec. 2019.
- “Squirting.” Dictionary.com, www.dictionary.com/e/slang/squirting/. Accessed 22 July 2021.