Meet Stephanie & Fox from Evolve Your Intimacy

This post is also available in: Nederlands English (Engels)

The couple behind the Evolve Your Intimacy podcast open up about their lifestyle journey and more in this ASN interview.

This interview originally appeared in the May 2022 issue of ASN Lifestyle Magazine.

Evolve Your Intimacy podcast hosts Stephanie and Fox. Photo by Wicked Peach Photography.

The Beginning

Our story began like most fairy tale relationships these days, looking for a hookup on an app or website. Fox says we met on Tinder, and I say it was Bumble, but either way, we both were looking for a hookup; however, our first date did not end with a hookup at all, but the kiss was enough to make my knees wobble, I will tell you more about that later. I was coming out of a very rough marriage with a man that was not so nice, to say the least, and I was just looking for a friend with benefits (FWB) situation, and thankfully, Fox was looking for the same thing or so we both thought. We chatted through the app for about a week, and the entire time he was going by the fake name of Cory. It was only when we met that he told me his real name, but considering his career field in Federal Law Enforcement, I could understand him being careful when meeting new women.

First Date

Our date already started awkwardly because I thought I was meeting a man named Cory, and instead, I met a Fox, no pun intended. I am a go-with-the-flow type of person, so I just went with it, and it didn’t hurt that he was extremely gorgeous with eyes that can make a woman melt. We met at a local restaurant and sat at the bar; both of us were prepared for a timely exit if the situation called for it. The conversation flowed naturally as we learned more about each other, and neither one of us was ready for the night to end. We went to a second location which was a wine bar, but Fox doesn’t drink wine, so we didn’t stay long. While we were there, my friend, who was also a city cop, drove through the parking lot to check on me. I mean, a girl has to have protection when meeting a new man. I should have known when Fox made mention of the cop car in the parking lot making rounds that the gig was up, especially when he smirked and asked, “friend of yours? I’ll send you a copy of my driver’s license so he knows you’re in good hands.” He then pulled his DL out and took a picture, and sent it to me. Who does that? Oh, wait, Feds do… LOL?! I digress; we were having such a great time talking that we didn’t want the night to end, so we went to a third location, and it was in the parking lot before we walked in that he kissed me for the first time. Our kisses matched!!! If you have ever kissed someone whose kiss doesn’t match yours, you know exactly how exciting it is when you find a matching kiss. We finished the night by talking, sneaking little kisses, me blushing, and him ever so slyly running his hand down my back to my butt so he could ensure that it was nice and adequate. Fox is a butt man, and I was wearing a dress that didn’t accentuate my butt, so he made that move before we left, and I didn’t mind at all. I was smitten!

Third Date Revelations

We have tried to remember our second date, but neither of us can, and I am sure it was amazing and am positive we didn’t hook up. Yes, we went into this situation looking for an FWB, but thus far, the only benefit we were receiving from each other was good company, laughs, and a great conversation.

Fox invited me to go to dinner at a sushi restaurant in West Texas (I don’t recommend sushi in the desert, but he was gorgeous, so I would have followed him anywhere), not to mention he is from the beach, born and raised, so I didn’t have the heart to tell him; he would soon find out on his own. We sat down, and he was telling me all of these wonderful things that made him sound too perfect. He said something to me that made me ask, “are you married and swingers or something?” Little did I know how loaded that question was. Thankfully, he was not married, but that question led to a very deep conversation about his past.

He started with, “well, since you are licensed and a professional in this community, there is something you should know about me from years ago, in the odd chance someone recognizes me; I was on Playboy TV for a single episode.” He tells me more about swinging and a bit more about what he was looking for in a partner. Being the novice that I was at the time, I didn’t know much at all, but I disclosed that I had hooked up with couples in the past. It was at that moment I found out I was a ‘Unicorn!’ I always knew I was magical, and Fox had just confirmed it by calling me a Unicorn.

Being a single mother, I never brought men back to my house, but for some reason, he felt safe, and my daughter was away at a friend’s house. We got to my house, and I was fully prepared for the benefits that come along with FWBs, but Fox had other plans. He will tell you that he saw something different in me and wanted to take things slow, and I will tell you that I tried all of my best tricks to get him naked, and it didn’t happen; he certainly is a stubborn man. As I sat straddling him while wearing a dress and no panties, with him fully clothed, he further disclosed that the Playboy TV show he was on was called Swing. For some reason, this turned me on, but I wasn’t sure why at that moment. Although when asked, he wouldn’t tell me what season, episode, or where to find it, only stating, “it was so long ago, you probably can’t even find it anymore.”

Once he felt I was accepting of his confession, he lifted me, both hands on my ass, and carried me to my bedroom. As he tossed me on the bed, my bed frame broke straight down the middle. I had never broken a bed while fully clothed before, so this was new to me. I have never been more sexually frustrated in all of my life! But something told me he was worth the wait, and oh boy was he!

After he left, my bed broke in half, I feverishly searched for his episode of Playboy TV Swing, and after about an hour of searching and $19.95 later, I was watching his episode. At first, I compared myself to his partner at the time but stopped that unnecessary self-destruction and kept watching. While the show was sexy, and I was extremely turned on, I wasn’t turned on for the reason one might think I would be. I was turned on by the way he watched his partner, ensuring she felt safe and secure with each little progression. He kept checking in with her before he indulged in play for himself. I can honestly say that I fell in love with him while watching that episode.

I reluctantly called him the next morning and told him that I found the episode and watched it, recounting the things that stood out to me most. I am not sure if he was impressed by my investigation skills or turned on by the things that I found sexual, but I got the fourth date out of it!

Fast forward, and many dates later, selling both our homes, losing a fur baby, going on adventures, cohabitating, co-parenting, and moving to Central Texas together, we have now been together in life for quite some time. While we have not officially tied the knot, mostly because neither of us wants to ever again, we are entangled deep in life, love, and business.

Evolve Your Intimacy podcast hosts Stephanie and Fox. Photo by Wicked Peach Photography.


Stephanie:
“Ya buddy, you’re stuck with me.”
Fox: “It’s too late for you to leave; I’ll bury you in the backyard.”
(Relax, no need to call 911, you must understand his humor to get it.)

A Company is Born!

Our company literally evolved into what it is today through trial and error. We knew that we wanted to help others navigate the lifestyle, but we were limited to the states that I am licensed in as a Certified Sex Therapist, so Fox recommended we start a podcast. He had previously done a podcast and knew what to do because I was a novice when we first started. The podcast morphed into a coaching platform, and the coaching platform turned into Evolve Your Intimacy, which now hosts counseling, coaching, workshops, retreats, workshops, play-shops, self-study courses, and more…

As we were navigating our personal relationship, we shared those experiences through a therapeutic lens on our podcast, and the community responded positively. As a company, we wanted to provide the raw details that aren’t often discussed in a way that could help others learn from our experiences, as well as provide a roadmap for things we could have done differently when we processed our journey therapeutically. The lifestyle is for everyone, but it is not FOR everyone, and if couples are not having the tough conversations beforehand, then relationships can be destroyed.

Thankfully, Fox had lived this journey most of his adult life, so I had an inside perspective and a mentor, but my concern was for those who didn’t have someone holding their hand throughout the process. And that is exactly what Evolve Your Intimacy was created for, to help others design their relationship(s) in any way that they wanted without judgment from professionals within the realms of Relationships, Intimacy, Sex Education, and Sexology.

There has been something so powerful about being able to tell couples that we know exactly what they are going through and provide a 30,000-foot view of how to successfully work through the issues that they are experiencing both personally and professionally.

Aside from what our company does directly with clients, we also write articles for ASN Lifestyle Magazine, host a Q&A section, and I, Stephanie, am now the leading Sex Therapist for ASN. We also have partnered with dating websites to bring free and easily accessible knowledge of tips, tricks, and skills surrounding relationships, intimacy, and sex education from both a personal and professional view. One to mention highly is our newfound partnership with SDC.com, where we are now hosting play-shops for them at takeovers like Sexperience 2022 in Cancun, Mexico.

Will be hosting ‘Pleasuring your Vulva: a journey into discovering the full potential of a woman’s vulva’ and another called ‘Blind Lust: a tantalizing exploration of your partner’s body. Most importantly, we will be available in Cancun to work with anyone on-site if any questions, concerns, or issues arise that need to be explored or addressed. SDC is leading the way in ensuring that its members are navigating the lifestyle safely by having a certified sex therapist and board-certified coach on-site. For us, that shows dedication to the industry and loyalty to the guests that are attending the event.

So, who is Stephanie, and what makes her a good Mental Health Professional?

I am a first-generation college graduate who was raised in an unhealthy house with an abusive stepfather. I am the only girl out of 5 brothers and was once told that I would make more money on my back than by using my brain. By the age of 10, I had experienced a lifetime of trauma and abuse, which set the path for my future of helping others. When I tell people about my past, many think I am a pathological liar because they can’t fathom the amount of trauma I have experienced in my lifetime. Unfortunately, it is all true, and the only way I can make sense of my trauma-filled past is to help others during their time of distress.

I didn’t have much guidance growing up, but I knew I wanted to be more than what I was being raised to be. Amongst many things, I became addicted to education and will earn my doctorate degree soon; however, I will never end my educational career. I am a firm believer that once you think you know everything, then you should just hang up your hat because you have nothing left to contribute to the world.

My troubled childhood provided me with an unrealistic view of relationships, and I found myself with many unhealthy men throughout the years who used me for all that I had to offer. These relationships left me deflated, uncertain, and jaded. I am a workaholic, I tend to feel I will never be good enough, and I struggle with my self-esteem daily. I am a flawed human who is trying to do the best I can with the tools I was provided by imperfect role models growing up.

What about Fox?

I grew up with a single mother in a neighborhood that was extremely dangerous. I began working at a supermarket at the age of 14 as a means of paying for the things that I wanted and helping with rent. My mom worked many hours and was not available for me. I even had to sign school documents for her because she was rarely home. Due to her never being around, I gravitated toward my uncle, who was involved in gang activities. It was when a traumatic event occurred did I realize that the gang life was not what I wanted for myself, so I moved in with my father clear across the country.

Unfortunately, my father didn’t really have much time for me either, so I had to make my own way. I was going to go into the Marines, but instead, I went back to live with my mother. This time was different in that I didn’t want to enter into the same dangerous lifestyle, so I grabbed my best friend and joined the Navy.

While I was in the Navy, I had the opportunity to find myself and help me realize the importance of loyalty, family, and integrity. It was during this time that I got married, had a son, and then in typical storybook fashion, I got divorced. In the Navy, I went into combat, and that changed me completely. When I came back home, I didn’t have anything in common with anyone any longer, so I controlled my environment every step of the way. My control further disconnected me from people in general for quite some time.

In the ‘real world,’ I didn’t really fit in, so I went into security contracting and went back overseas. This led to many years of chaos in my life. It was when I got the opportunity to join Federal Law Enforcement that I found myself again and began working towards the greater good in the world. A while after joining the federal government, I took a promotion that moved me out to West Texas, where I met Stephanie. A while later, and with all of my combined years, I was able to retire early. So, that’s what I did and talked the family into moving to Central Texas.

Q & A with Stephanie & Fox

Evolve Your Intimacy podcast hosts Stephanie and Fox. Photo by Wicked Peach Photography.


What does your partner do that you find incredibly sexy and why?

Fox: There’s more than one, that’s for sure. Stephanie is very intuitive and intelligent; that turns me on greatly. She shines when she’s happy, loved, and protected, like that beautiful pregnant glow women get. And this is not the last one, but she puts her heart and soul into friends, family, and clients, and that love she gives out is beautiful to me. Sexually, I love how powerful she is when she gives up complete control to me in the bedroom and becomes this sexual goddess.

Stephanie: Coming from an abusive past, emotional safety is very important to me. Fox goes the extra mile to ensure that I am emotionally safe when incorporating new partners into our life or checking in with me frequently when he is dating someone else. When he makes sure that I am secure with us and he is taking the time to truly make me feel special, that is extremely sexy to me!

What are some of your favorite non-sexual things to do with your partner, and why?

Fox: We both very much love to skydive together and host get-togethers at home with friends and family. 

Professionally, what I love the most is working with Stephanie and another couple during workshops or private sessions because we balance each other out, and it’s amazing to watch her work.

We also both love being parents and very much enjoy events with our children who are not so children anymore, with one being in the military and the other about to leave home for college.

Stephanie: Honestly, I love doing everything with Fox. We could be sitting around the house doing nothing or hosting an elaborate party, we complement each other so well. Granted, we get on each other’s nerves, and we bicker at times, but I don’t want to do this life with anyone else. 

What do you want the world to know about your partner that your partner would never brag about to others?

Fox: This is not an exaggeration; Stephanie is the most loving, understanding, and caring person I have ever met in my life. I know she tolerates me daily, and I’m hard to tolerate. If I had one hidden truth to point out about my beautiful wife, is that she, hands down, is the best counselor I have ever seen or worked with in my life. 

I watch her fire clients weekly because they graduate, and they continuously come back no matter what she does; some even insist or beg. If that isn’t a testament to the impact she has on others, I don’t know what it is. 

Stephanie: Fox can be very stern and likes to do things by the book. He is a rule follower and expects others to follow suit. What many people don’t realize or have the opportunity to see often is his playful side. He can be such a dork and so much fun to be around when he is in a playful, fun mood. 

What is your partner’s most annoying habit that drives you crazy but also defines who they are as a person?

Fox: My wife is amazing in so many ways, but she is the messiest person I know. Probably because she’s so busy with her life work that she doesn’t have much time for anything else; however, it drives my OCD brain crazy. 

Stephanie: Fox does everything by the book. He doesn’t look for easier ways to do things or workarounds because he feels those can lead to trouble in the long run, and it drives me CRAZY! I like to skip steps and move things along faster, but I am learning that faster doesn’t mean correct. Needless to say, we butt heads on things, but at the end of the day, I know he is looking out for us and our business. 

What made you decide to specialize in your areas of expertise, which include board-certified counseling and therapy for alternative relationships, kink, and fetish? 

Stephanie: I have always had an open mind when it comes to relationships and sex, so when I was in my graduate program, and I got to add elective courses, I selected the Human Sexuality course, and from there, I was hooked. It wasn’t until I met Fox that I really started the specialization of working with couples in alternative relationships. He provided first-hand knowledge of best practices, so I learned from him as we went along. I found the Ph.D. program for clinical sexology and have never looked back. I feel as the world changes, we should be allowed to change the way we see relationships moving forward without shame and judgment, and I get to help couples and individuals create a dynamic that works specifically for them.

How has the increased focus on virtual communication changed the way you and your clients interact with each other? Has the shift to a more virtual world been a challenge for EYI?

Having the ability to have therapy virtually has changed the world of medicine for the better! Before, clients would have to come into the office and sit for a session, but now, they can log in from the comfort of their homes and really give the counselor/coach a glimpse of their intimate world. You can tell so much about a person from their house, and having that insight allows us to create a well-rounded plan of action that helps the clients achieve their goals quickly and efficiently. 

Also, we now have the opportunity to work with clients from all over the world. We currently have clients in Japan, Australia, and Korea. Virtual sessions allow us to have a greater reach and help more couples and individuals create their perfect relationships. 

What advice would you offer to someone who is considering exploring the swinger lifestyle?

  1. Communication: Talk, talk, & talk — talk about this idea with your partner more than you want to, more than you think is necessary, and with the attitude that you’re not going to do it, so it doesn’t matter how honest you are about it. If you and your partner are not having hard conversations that make your stomach turn, then you’re not talking. It gets better and easier, we promise you, but you got to go where society tells you not to. Only there will you find your true self to share with your partner, and hell yes, that is scary. It is oh so worth it, though, to know you can be yourself without fear of judgment. Wow, is it empowering!
  2. Raw Honesty: This blends in with talking, but this is harder to do. We all fear that our loved one(s) would cringe, run, and vomit at the dirty inner thoughts we have. What if instead of that reaction, you got a high five, a smile, a kiss, or a slap on the butt with a kinky wink from your partner?! Let your dirty freak flag fly, and the right partner will hoist it up higher for you while you are busy getting your freak on. Be 100%, yes, one hundred percent open about your lust, kinks, fetishes, thoughts, needs, wants, and hard nos.
  3. Move Slow & Safe: It’s not a race — Only move as physically or emotionally slow as the slowest person in the relationship. Encouragement is good, but make sure it’s not selfish, or you endanger your relationship. Never allow others to push you faster than comfortable. Always be safe emotionally, physically, and sexually in everything you do.

Where do you see EYI in the next five years?

In five years, we hope that our center is known worldwide for the quality of educators, coaches, and counselors in the human sexuality industry. We would like to have five full-time coaches and counselors who are seeing a full caseload weekly and provide the best guidance for those experiencing a hard time in the lifestyle or life in general. We want everyone to feel secure coming to use regardless if they are in the lifestyle or not and know that they are supported and heard by our amazing staff.

We would like to have educators going to various lifestyle events conducting workshops and play-shops, and providing support to those in need while at the event. The lifestyle is a beautiful experience when things are going well, but we all know that one mishap could ruin an entire vacation, so ensuring that we have coaches and counselors readily available on site is very important to us. 

How will EYI’s new partnership with ASN and SDC.com as official educators help to shape, help, and educate our lifestyle community?

People don’t know what they don’t know, and being the official certified sex therapist for ASN Lifestyle Magazine and the official educators for SDC provides a vast platform for reaching and educating more people about how to safely navigate the lifestyle. There are many options for coaching in the lifestyle, but not many are licensed and board-certified; this element makes EYI a flagship company that the lifestyle community can build upon.

We want everyone to know that there is hope, peace, and flexibility to create relationships the way you want them, not the way society tells you it has to be. Most of us grew up with one view of how relationships should be, and honestly, that template may not work for everyone. We want everyone to know that if that cookie-cutter idea of relationships doesn’t work for you, that is absolutely acceptable. We give permission to live life the way we want to live it without shame or guilt.

Joining SDC as their official educators for the platform ensures that their members are learning from qualified educators who study the newest trends, stays abreast of the latest research, and provides scholarly educational tools that are proven to work. EYI has the opportunity to work with the leading experts in the field of human sexuality and bring that information directly to the members, ensuring quality information.

Evolve Your Intimacy podcast hosts Stephanie and Fox. Photo by Wicked Peach Photography.

Evolve Your Intimacy would like to give a special shout-out and huge THANK YOU to wickedpeachphotography.com for capturing our fun and playful side.

Evolve Your Intimacy podcast hosts Stephanie and Fox

Certified Sex Therapist Stephanie Sigler NCC, LPC, CST, PhD ABD 
and Board Certified RISE Coach Fox SEC, SAPR, CIS, EMT-T
Evolve Your Intimacy LLC
Counseling | Coaching | Courses | Podcast | Retreats | Workshops

https://www.sdc.com/swinger/meet-stephanie-fox-from-evolve-your-intimacy/

Laat een reactie achter

Uw e-mailadres wordt niet weergegeven. Verplichte velden worden middels * weergegeven