Set or discuss the rules
This is the IMPORTANT step to take BEFORE attending a club, party or meeting with other couples or singles. Both should discuss and establish basic rules that both of you MUST agree on before you attend your first club or party so that there will be no misunderstandings during or after your first night out. You should discuss your playing boundaries and any specific things that would upset you or your partner. If you have intercourse, whether or not you use condoms.
When you make ground rules, make sure you don’t break them! Many arguments are started by a partner who bends or breaks the rules set by both partners. You have many other possibilities to change or modify your rules, because you both become more comfortable in your lifestyle. The key to a very successful adventure in the swinging lifestyle is good communication between you and your partner.
When you meet a new couple for the first time, it is appropriate to let the new couple know your level of play, or things that would upset either of you if they did. The more you communicate with new couples, the more comfortable you will all be together.
This is the IMPORTANT rule to talk about before you go to a club. If you do not discuss this topic and one of you is having sexual intercourse at a club or party, you can imagine the problems you have just created for each other. We have seen this a couple of times and never with favourable results. Many people are not ready to see their partner having intercourse with another person. Others are so excited about the opportunity to show their partner several new partners. Only you two know the comfort levels and limits you want to go to.
Many couples will decide to play in the lifestyle as Soft Swingers (all sexual play except sexual intercourse). Swinging is not recommended for weak marriages or for couples who do not communicate well with each other.
Couples who have a strong marriage and are both very sexually active with each other will find it normal to see that their partner has intercourse with new partners and enjoy the same level of enjoyment. Most couples will tell you that their sexual experiences at home have increased significantly after attending lifestyle clubs or parties.
Set the rules by discussing fantasies
This process works best by discussing every possible sexual situation. Like, do you want me to kiss another man or woman? Can I play or suck someone’s breasts? Do you want to see me dress up as a prostitute? Can I dominate and tell others to make love to me? Would you like me to have two men or women at the same time? Can I try a bip experience?
You can also express the desire for your partner. I’m gonna let all the men play with me! I’m gonna let every hard cock feel my wet mouth and sticky pussy! I’m gonna pump my hard cock into another pussy while you watch! I want you to sit on my face while another lady sucks my hard cock. I want two dicks in my pussy or mouth at the same time!
By discussing all the possibilities, you both have the opportunity to say, wait a minute, I want special treats only for me, or I’m not ready to go that far. The more situations you discuss, the better you will be mentally prepared when these fantasies become reality for the first time.
Some couples are busy making their own films of each other. Talk about all the typical things you do sexually at home with each other and if you are both willing to have these things done by new partners. Do you want to play together so you can see your partner or do you want to play in separate rooms. It is recommended that you play in the same room with new playmates to see the reaction of your partners with a new playmate. The new experiences you share together will take a big turn when you call them up at home.
Breaking the rules
One last thing. If you’ve both taken the time to set basic rules before playing, don’t break them. By breaking them, you’ll jump out of the casserole into the fire!!!!!