Swingers Terminology

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Swingers Glossary

This is a listing of words, terms, definitions and slang that have been developed and used in swinging as they do in all social activities. Many of the words and terms are slang and may change or cease to be used with time. As swinging is a growing lifestyle, new words and terms continue to be developed. As with most slang, many of the words and terms are regional in use. A number of the words and terms are used primarily in adult clubs, personal ads and letters in reply to personal ads in magazines or on the internet through email or on line chat rooms.

Wife only
Couple is not charmed by a man in the game. Indicate that they only want v-v, but in practice it is usually the case that they actually want a vvm trio.

All fucker
People who want to have sex with as many people as possible and who you really are, find the mutual bonding and communication of subordinate importance.

A balloon with nitrous oxide that provides a brief intoxication after inhalation. If used too much, it causes a vitamin B-12 deficiency which can affect the mantle of the nerve bundles.

Condomless sex, usually only with one or a few preferred couples. Some people also go to bare parties where everyone does the condomless.

Big Black Cock, a nigger with a very big dick. Think of more than 20 cm circumference and a centimeter or 25 long. Are sought because of a fetish, kick or just because a lady is no longer so tight and wants to be filled well.

Someone who gets excited from sexual activity with someone of the opposite sex. This does not mean that that person could/would have a relationship with someone of the same sex.

Someone who could/would have a love affair with someone of the opposite sex.

Bi-curious once.You’re curious what it’s like to do same-sex sexual acts. Once you’ve tried it, you’ll know if you liked it. If you did, you’re bi, if not, you are. Bi doesn’t mean that you want to do it with everyone of the same sex. He’s not having that either.

Blind date
A date where you don’t know in advance what the other person looks like.

Variant of the gangbang where a lady blows a group of at least 3 men.

GHB use where one wants to stay in the desired intoxication for a long time and at the same time make sure that one does not go out. Times and quantities of drugs are noted to ensure that one just does not cross the line of ideal intoxication and overdose. In principle, these are large users.

Restricting each other’s movements with rope. There are 2 variants, Shibari, and the western knotting technique.

gay or bisexual man who strongly prefers to be fucked anal instead of penetrating the other.

Angry smoke
ehhh it must be called angry for a reason. For info https://drugsinfoteam.nl/vraag-antwoord/lees-een-antwoord/?qid33061

Masturbating with a group of men and spraying the lady under the sperm.

leaking sperm from the anus or vagina after ejaculation.

Not allowing others to date certain people. This can be done in a direct way by saying that you shouldn’t, or indirectly by letting them know that you don’t like it, which gives the other person the feeling that the friendship could come under pressure as a result. A kind of selfishness in which jealousy is usually the cause.

Catch the ejaculate with the mouth and then pass it on with a kiss to another person who then takes it in the mouth.

Ring that attaches behind the scrotum on the penis, pinching the blood supply slightly. Ensures that the erection is slightly harder and can be maintained longer. For people with potency problems and as jewelry.

Pipe technique in which the woman bites the stiff penis up to the root and lets the glans slide to behind her uvula.

People who think that a date should largely consist of sexual action. The conviviality, mutual bonding and communication is less important.

Having sex with a stranger in or against the car with your partner watching

Double Penetration, in which the woman is penetrated into the vagina and anus simultaneously.

Double Vaginal Penetration, in which the woman is penetrated into the vagina by 2 men at the same time.

Double Anal Penetration, in which the man or woman is penetrated into the anus by 2 men simultaneously.

The known extremes
Poop and pee sex, sex with animals and/or children

Subjective understanding. If someone thinks something is extreme, it doesn’t mean that it’s extreme, but that that person thinks it’s a little too far for him or her. Your neighbors, for example, think that swinging is extreme in itself.

Friends with benefits
A real friendship, where you give each other energy, in all honesty, fun but also less fun things can share and therefore do, where you trust each other 100. Friends help each other and accept more of each other than others. They also do things for each other disinterestedly. The benefits means that it is not platonic but that one also has sexual activities together.

The “benefits” without the “friends”, this is a knowledge that you only occasionally meet for sex.

Entering the anus or vagina with a full hand. The full hand means that only the wrist can be seen. A lot of lubricant and practice is required. This can happen to either a man or a woman.

Frustration fucker
Person who wants to do the deed as soon as possible and shows that as much as possible and as long as possible should be fucked. Other things are of minor importance. Also called performance fucker.

Having sex with a group of men (at least 3) together in a way that the lady `used`.

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being. When swinging, we assume that it is free of contagious diseases and spiritually in such a state that a date will be without drama. Thus, a person in good mental health is one who has enough self-confidence to adapt to a situation he cannot change or to work on the situation to change it when it is possible. This person lives his daily life free from fear or old wounds that could spoil his ‘here and now’ and disrupt his ‘view of life’. Clinically speaking: if you don’t have anything on the list of `Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders`.

No answer is no interest
What an arrogant type who wouldn’t bother to send a short rejection if you took the trouble to write an email.

No weight on profile filled in
Person is so heavy they’re ashamed of it and think it reduces their chances of getting a date

No age on profile filled in.
Predominantly 55+ people who are afraid that because of their age they will miss an opportunity to go on a date with someone younger.

No length on profile filled in
Person is so short that they estimate that filling in reduces their chances of getting a date

Shot of GHB

Someone who won’t get really horny without ghb. In fact, already an addict.

The user is trying to indicate that he/she does not use as much. However, it says little, is it half of an 80mg or a 250mg tablet? According to the experts it is reasonably safe if you don’t do this more than once every 6 to 8 weeks.

Has experience
There are no virgins among the swingers. So we all have experience with sex. By “has experience” one means that one has dated more often and knows what one wants, so there are no struggles during a date due to uncertainty for whatever reason.

Coming from pigeonholing. A box is a tightly framed explanation of something to make it understandable for someone else. People can be in different pigeonholes depending on time and place. There is nothing wrong with pigeonholing as long as you realise what that pigeonholing is for.

Making sure you arrive at your date fresh and fruity. So showered, teeth brushed, shaved, and if you also like anal games rinsed. It’s nice if you get refreshed from time to time during the date.

HBO level
People who display their level of education on a swinger site probably think that their IQ and EQ are better than someone with a lower level of education. In short, they find themselves quite a lot.

Lady who gets paid directly or indirectly for sex. The ladies who are always looking for date single men who pay for them to enter a club or party are also included.

Failing to grant something else, the cause often stems from uncertainty

Pinch of ketamine, sometimes in combination with a balloon

Throat fucking
Variant of the deeptroath in which the man fucks the woman in her mouth in such a way that he gets past her uvula. The lead is here with the man.

Very different from the normal sexual norm. However, this norm is subject to change. Also the background, upbringing determines what someone finds kinky. One person finds a finger in the anus already kinky, another person only when someone hangs on meat hooks on the ceiling.

Loke duck
Profile which is full of pictures of the lady but where there is nothing to see of the gentleman. Take it for granted that the gentleman is not to be seen.

Nothing is allowed, everything is allowed
The writer thinks he can do anything, but you don’t have to do anything.

Vague understanding of what people use to indicate that they think they don’t use that much. In moderation, a maximum of 1 time per 6 weeks actually means 1.5 mg xtc per kg body weight and no combi use with other drugs. Alcohol also falls under drugs.

MDR STI app.
Via the Google Playstore downloadable app where you can read the right information about soas, (diagnostics and treatment)

Open minded translates to an open mind. Someone who is open minded does not let his convictions or past experiences hinder him. When you are in the world with an open mind, you are open to new ideas, experiences, theories, people and lifestyles. In doing so, you do not make (pre-)judgements about other people.

Open relationship
People in which both partners also (may) date separately

Person who wants to go to others all the time and makes the drinks and drugs there and enjoys the facilities of the host, but never wants to organize anything himself.

Situation where a lady or couple uses or abuses single men who are not able to arrange a fun date by asking for money to participate in their sexual activities. In fact, prostitution. See also “Hooker”

Ceiling cataracts
It is not uncommon to have an occasional break and chill during a date, whether or not under the influence of drugs. With ceiling stares, users have taken so many drugs that they spend most of the time in themselves and not interacting with others. Ceiling cataracts are also used to refer to women who lie passively on their backs to get fucked and let others do all the “heavy” work.

Someone with an open relationship who can/will have love relationships with multiple people. This person therefore does not mind if his/her partner also has love relationships with others apart from him/her and arranges them separately.

Pill that prevents you from getting HIV. Can be swallowed structurally or the days around a date. Prevents only HIV, not the other STIs. Only on doctor’s prescription. https://aidsfonds.nl/over-hiv-aids/wat-is-prep/

Prostate massage
The prostate is a gland that performs an important function in the male body. The prostate produces a fluid that is pushed out together with the sperm during ejaculation. This prostatic fluid ensures that sperm is more motile and can survive longer in the vagina. The prostate is about the size of a walnut and is located near the anus and bladder, more specifically around the urethra. During a prostate massage, fingers or a toy are placed in the anus to gently stimulate the prostate. A kind of G-sport for men

Person who, without any feeling, tries to stimulate the G-spot of the woman with fast and rough strokes in order to let her reach orgasm as soon as possible. The feeling that he has performed is more important than the total experience of the woman. Often to be found among the frustration fuckers.

Licking the anus with the tongue

Safe sex
Safe-sex is when you both just have sex with your own partner, and have been tested beforehand. Often safe-sex is indicated by people who only want to fuck with a condom. The condom provides protection against HIV. For the sake of convenience, people often forget that STIs such as Chlamydia, Mycoplasma Genitalis and Gonorrhoea are also transmitted by unprotected oral sex.

A transgender who didn’t have his penis removed during the conversion. Looks feminine, with breasts, but also has a penis.

This is in fact not a swap. Two or more couples make love in one room. But they only do sexual acts with their own partner.

Hopeless guy who comes to watch your sexual activities while jerking off hoping he’ll get involved.

Putting a last minute date request on sdc to score a date.

Rinse the last part of the rectum with water to keep it clean during anal sex.

A couple who in all openness and honesty to each other, during dates, or parties, sexually share each other’s partners with others.

Squirting means that a jet of fluid is released when a woman comes. This is not urine. Because for some people it turns out to be the holy grail, you sometimes see that women try to produce even bigger jets through urination to give themselves and others a kick. This leads to the borderline of urine sex.

For lovers of fists who are not yet able to get a full hand in the vagina or anus. The maximum stretching of the vagina or anus by sliding more and more fingers or thicker toys into the vagina or anus.


Access ticket
Woman who accompanies a single male when entering a mating club or fetish party where only couples are admitted. A win-win situation, because the man is happy that he is allowed in and the woman is happy that her night out is paid for by someone else.

No taboos
Writer indicates that everything is negotiable and he or she actually wants to try everything out to see if it’s something for him or her. So there is no prejudice.

gay or bisexual man who strongly prefers to fuck the other anally instead of letting himself be taken.

Trance and everything that goes with it
Disputable expression. There is nothing at all to trance. The maker of this music only wants you to enjoy his music. And he doesn’t care how you do it. The people who say “Trance and everything that goes with it” want the reader to think that a date includes trance music and drug use. So it mainly says something about the way the writer thinks.

Distracted hands
There’s no such thing as stray hands. Unless maybe you’re dating someone mentally handicapped. When someone indicates that they’re not afraid of a stray hand, they mean they don’t mind being sexually stimulated from time to time with such a hand, but they don’t want the focus to be on it. If someone writes that stray hands are chopped off, this is a not exactly open-minded person with whom you, whether you are straight or bi, should not date.

From any level
Everyone thinks they’re of some level. People who write this probably think there are people below their level.

gay or bisexual man who not only fucks other men, but also lets himself be fucked anal.

Originally a term from the 1970s. Weekend Adult Party or WAP. Soon converted to waving in the Netherlands. Wappen has become a collective name for activities that adults carry out together and has various forms of interpretation. For one it is a weekend lying on the mattresses, for the other a visit to a sauna, party or club is just around the corner. Meanwhile, waving is the term used for combining sex with drug use.

A bi-sexual person who, in a sober state, has some difficulty coming true to his/her fantasies and/or pushed boundaries. In combination with drug use, that person does not suffer from social morality and can enjoy sexual activities with the same sex.

Water sports
Urolagnie, urophilia or urinary sex is a form of saliromania in which a person takes pleasure in sexual acts in which urine plays a role. Urinary sex exists in different forms. It can be about enjoying urine itself, for example when they see, smell, feel, taste or drink (urophagia) (their own or someone else’s) urine. It also includes the act of peeing, for example seeing someone pee or peeing over someone (or himself) (also called golden shower). It can also involve peeing in clothes or diapers or seeing someone do that. For some people it is just the (having to) stop the pee and the liberating feeling afterwards that is exciting. Depending on preference, the practitioner of wee sex can experience this as intimate, dirty, humiliating, naughty or a combination of these feelings.

We do not lose sight of each other
It is perfectly normal for partners to have contact with each other on a date. This can be to see if the other person is doing well or just to see if the other person is enjoying themselves. That does not have to be mentioned. If a couple explicitly states that they are not losing sight of each other, we imply that if a couple is somewhat insecure or jealous and wants to keep control by keeping an eye on the partner at all times. Types that already get nervous when you stand in the bathroom talking to the other for 5 minutes.

Man who dresses as a woman

Transgenders (or to put it more accurately: transgender people) do not, or not completely, feel at home in the gender role that fits the external sexual characteristics they were given at birth.

Transgender who converted to the opposite sex

Pill with mdma as basic raw material. Not so addictive. And if you do not take more than 1.5mg per kilo of body weight, and not more than once every 6 weeks relatively safe to use. Gives you a delicious love rush and loosens you up a bit and lets fucked up sexual fantasies come to the surface.

Salt drink

Salt water duckling
Person who prefers to take some ghb before sex.

Situation where a lady or couple uses or abuses single men who are not able to arrange a fun date by asking for money to participate in their sexual activities. In fact, prostitution. See also “Hooker”

Masturbating with a group of men and spraying the lady under the sperm.

Mattress fuckers
Those who actually only do their tricks on the mattress and often only go through a few positions, look like starfish.

Row fuckers
The name says it all, the evening especially all arranged in rows instead of all the bodies over and through each other.

Blood cock and Meat cock
The meat cock is fairly large in flaccid state, but in erection it only becomes hard and not much bigger. The blood cock is a bit smaller in the flaccid state but becomes much bigger during erection than in the flaccid state.

Both male and female genitalia

Meat product photos
Close-up pictures of male or female genitalia in which the legs and/or torso of the owner are not also visible.

Dickpic poster
Someone who only places pictures of his dick

Lesbian: women falling for women
Gay: men falling for men
Bisexual: people who fall on both men and women
Transgender: men who feel female, women who feel male
Queer: an umbrella term to stand out from box-thinking
Intersekse: people with both male and female body characteristics
Asexual: people without a need for sex
Pansexual: people who do not fall for gender, but for character or personality

Advertiser who is asexual – enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity: Can be Bisexual. It is an older term referring to a person who swings either way. It can also mean a person who is NOT sexually attracted by either sex.

Euphemism for pornographic.

Voluntary sexual activity including intercourse between a married individual and a partner other than the legal spouse. FELLATIO and other sexual play is not considered adultery in many states or countries.

Pleasure in giving or receiving pain and cruelty. Sadism is known as ACTIVE algolagnia (willing giver) and masochism as PASSIVE algolagnia (willing receiver).

Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see CULTURE)

Anal intercourse: Greek: Greek Culture.
Some ladies and men achieve great pleasure from anal intercourse and many do not.

Sexual activity with animals, usually dogs and women: (see Bestiality)

To kiss ALL parts of the body, to give someone a trip around the world.
Leaving no stone or hole, unturned or explored with the tongue.

Euphemism for fetishes: Cultures

Brothel or whorehouse. A house for the intimacies of both sexes where money is exchanged for sexual pleasures. Keeping a bawdyhouse is punishable in many places around the world. In the swinging community, sexual play is voluntary between consenting partners and never paid for! Many police forces try to charge swingers-clubs/">swingers clubs with running or keeping a bawdyhouse, but none of these charges have ever seen a conviction, because there is a big difference between a true bawdyhouse and a swingers club.

Bondage and discipline (see BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)

A semi aquatic rodent having webbed hind feet and a broad flat tail, constructing dams and underwater lodges and yielding valuable fur. A Canadian symbol or icon. Also a new term referring to the pubic hair above the female vagina. If your Canadian, show us your beaver!

The inclination to seek sexual gratification through intercourse or sexual play with animals. Sexual activity with animals usually dogs and women: (Animal Training).
Some women will even go to the limits of having their dog declawed.

Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity. Primarily prefers the opposite sex.

Person who prefers opposite sex sexual activity, but enjoys same sex sexual activity on a limited basis with the right person.

Unusual sexual desires: Way out. An extremely rare fetish.

Advertiser with black skin. Sometimes very important that the person is looking for a partner of the same color or specific color.

A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered “dominant” while the person being bound is considered “submissive.”

House of prostitution. Cat House. (see Bawdyhouse)

Sodomy, male intercourse through the anus.

A Lesbian who assumes the male role with another female.

Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging.

Advertiser will travel to your home or location to swing.

A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood.

A computer term referring to miniature video cameras that are broadcasting over the internet to a large audience. These are very popular in the sex industry as well as a favorite pastime for Voyeurs and Exhibitionists.
Cams can be found in bedrooms, bathrooms, showers and many more locations.

Sexual activity with others, without spouse’s knowledge and consent. Not accepted in the swing community as a general rule, but practiced by some for the excitement.

An old slang expression for gonorrhea (a sexually transmitted disease that used to be very common).

Hygienic: Free of sexually transmitted diseases. Does not relate to your bathing habits, but this type of cleanliness is paramount in swinging also.

CLOSED DOOR or Closed Swinging
Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms so that partners of a marriage or other intimate relationship do not visually observe each other’s swinging. The rooms are almost always in the same house.

A person who hides the the fact that he/she is a swinger. Puts on a show for the general public, when in reality is engaged in a totally different lifestyle in secrecy and privacy of a select few people.

CBT is the nickname given to this fetish. Some men and women love to test the limits of their pain on themselves or another person. Includes the use of hundreds of items such as clamps, ropes, weights or whips etc.

A woman who cohabits with a man as his wife without being married to him. In Polygamy, the man’s second wife.

Sexual pleasure from defecation or urination or from urine or feces, or their smell. (see Golden Showers)

In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabiting), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes:

A person who enjoys wearing clothes of the opposite sex on a full time or regular basis.

Euphemism for Fetish, Arts

Sadism/Masochism. Sexual stimulation from spanking, whips or caning. Old English public school system of discipline. Excessive whipping.

Oral-genital sexual activity. Fellatio and Cunnilingus

Anal-penile intercourse. Normally asked, “Do you like Greek?”.

Sexual orgies. Large group sex.

Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another. Mutual masturbation.

Oral stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth. (see FRENCH CULTURE)

An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus. They can be hand held or strap on.

The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally call a Manager.

A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings.

Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity. Many cheating males will ask you to use discretion, so their partner will not find out.

Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see SUBMISSIVE).

Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature.

The sexual partner in control of the willing submissive partner.

Anal and vaginal intercourse at the same time.
Not all Female, Male, Male combinations can accomplish this task.
Normally one male will lay flat on a mattress with the female facing the male and on top, while the second male enters the females anus while straddling her ass.
If the males or female are physically too large or the men have small penises, double penetration is difficult.
Double penetration can also be accomplished in the same manner with two penises in the vagina.
It is quite an experience to feel three people having an orgasm at the same time!

Underground prison of vault. In the lifestyle it refers to a play area for singles or couples interested in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism or Masochism (BDSM). Some lifestyle clubs will advertise that they have a Dungeon on the premises or available at a private party location. There is a great deal of equipment involved with a Dungeon, from whips, chains, restraints and much more.
Some clubs will set up a number of stations or play areas.


A new term referring to B&D; or S&M.; Many people have bad preconceived ideas about past Sadism or Masochism activities which does not accurately represent the present day adventures and activities practiced in safe and consenting environments.

A person who is sexually stimulated by being seen or watched by others while showing sexual portions of the body or engaging in sexual acts in front of an audience.

A castrated male. A male with the testes or the entire sexual organ removed. A castrated man, originally employed as a guard in a harem.

Oral sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.

The sex that bears young. Having qualities of gentleness or delicacy. Created with a hollow (vagina) into which a corresponding male part (penis) fits.

Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy, such as clothing, pain and many other actions or objects.

Inserting the entire hand into the vagina for sexual stimulation. Normally a very small hand or a large vagina is required to accomplish this task.

Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking. Sexual gratification where pain is the essential erotic stimulus.

An exhibitionist of sorts, that loves to show off their private body parts in quick view of an unsuspecting audience.

An older term referring to sexual relations without marriage.

A kiss with tongue contact and stimulation of the interior of the mouth.

A person who enjoys many sexual activities in the lifestyle, including full intercourse with a new partner. (see HARD SWINGER, HARD CORE).

Euphemism for sexual activity.

One person (male or female) being sexually serviced by several members of the opposite sex. Very hard for couples to organize outside of the lifestyle, but is possible at many lifestyle clubs and private parties.

A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian. The primary sexual attraction is to the same sex.

Refers to money for sex. Normally found in ads by working escorts or prostitutes.
ie: Sexual lady willing to do anything for a GENEROUS male.

A term given to urinating in front of or ON another person, typically while in the shower or bath tub. Also referred to as Water Sports. Some people get sexual pleasure from the urination, humiliation or the smell of the urine.

Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. (see MATROOM).

Social-sexual activity between five or more people. Most swing couples will engage sexually with one or two partners at a time in a group environment. A free for all group sex with anyone at anytime is not what swinging is about.

Social-sexual environment that promotes emotional, personal and social growth

HARD CORE or Hard Swinging
A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.

A person who enjoys many sexual activities in the lifestyle, including full intercourse. (see FULL SWAP, HARD CORE).

Oral-genital sexual activity: “Giving head” This can be performed by both sexes in many different combinations. This is also referred to as a blow job.

HEDONIST (Swinging)
Euphemism for a swinger: Lives for pleasure. Hedonism is the doctrine that PLEASURE or HAPPINESS is the sole or chief good in life.

An individual whose body combines the sexual organs or characteristics of both sexes from birth.

Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex. The manifestation of sexual desire for one or more members of the opposite sex.

Primary sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See GAY)

An older term referring to a female who is good for 24 climaxes a day.

Sexually tense: In need of sexual pleasure. A strong sexual urge to Just DO it!

Person who believes in human values, potential, self-respect of the individual, personal freedom and human rights.

Refers to a man with a large or long penis. The term Fireman refers to a long or narrow penis like a fireman’s pole in a fire station.

Lack or ability to perform sexual intercourse or failure to achieve an erect penis by men.

Having sexual relations with a brother or sister, or other near relative.

Swinging activities in general. This is an older term that is not used as often today.

Coitus. Physical sexual contact between a man and a woman (heterosexuals) that involves the genitalia of both individuals, specifically the penetration of the male penis accompanied by rhythmic movements leading to the ejaculation of semen from the penis into the female vagina. Soft swingers reserve this activity with their own partner. Full swing couples enjoy the full act of sexual intercourse with new partners.

Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads.

Slang expression for masturbating.

An older term that originated among the upper middle class in the 1950’s and disappeared in the late 1970’s. One of the games played at a less conventional party consisted of a lottery game, where each couple throws their house key into a hat, then each man, blindfolded, draws a key. For the rest of the night, he may use the house which the key opens and the wife who belongs to the house. The game was not as common as the use of the name for a swing club.

A fetish: Sexual stimulation through the wearing of leather or vinyl garments etc.

A woman sexually and emotionally attracted primarily to other women (see GAY)

A modern term referring to many social-sexual activities which include Bondage, Voyeurism an Swinging to name a few. Primarily a new term identifying a swinger within a public conversation such as “Are you and your wife active in the Lifestyle?”. Today the term is widely used and couples will often ask “What part of the Lifestyle are you involved in?”.

A modern term used on the internet referring to Laugh Out Loud (LOL). Used when corresponding in email or during on-line chats. This term is also used for Lots of Love, so you need to read into the context of the message.

Advertiser only willing to accept responses from a person or persons matching the requirements in the ad. Many new couples to swinging put too many precise restrictions on the types of couples they are willing to associate with.

Male or married. If used as MWM (married white male) looking for SWF (single white female) as one example. The sex that begets young by performing the fertilizing function with sperm, which the eggs of a female are made fertile. Having qualities of masculine or deep voice. Created with a male part (penis) for fitting into a corresponding hollow part of a female (vagina).

Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others. Many sex shops are available to walk in, mail order is also available through catalogues and the internet is also providing on-line shopping for these sexual aids and lingerie.

Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others. Many Masochists will play the role of slave to a more dominate master.

Erotic stimulation of the genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these and other sexual stimuli.

Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship (see B&D;, BONDAGE, DISCIPLINE)

Room set aside for group sex. (see GROUP ROOM). Mattresses on the floor are preferred for group sex to allow a multitude of sexual positions with more than one sexual partner. Mat rooms are normally found at on-premise clubs.

Will meet for swinging sex: no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads.

Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. May involve an on-going emotional relationship of the participants. (see THREESOME, TRIAD)

More than three people in a swinging interaction. A group.

Self admiration and love of one’s own body. Love of or sexual desire for one’s own body. Considered a very deviate behaviour not that long ago. Masturbation is a natural love of one’s own body.

The North American Swing Club Association. An association of swing clubs and magazines to promote swinging as the viable and beneficial lifestyle it has become, to give a national voice to the growing swinging community and to promote the development of ethical swing clubs. Levels of members: Affiliate Club, General, Associate and Institutional for swing clubs and magazines, general swinging community, media and institutions of learning and research.

Naturism is a social activity that appeals to men, women and children of all ages. Naturism is for all the family. Naturists will take vacations together at ski resorts, summer camps and many more organized events around the world (without clothes). Most naturists would be upset at the site of seeing another naturist or any person getting sexually aroused at the site of someone in the nude. Since Naturism is for the whole family and all ages, you will not see any photos on naturist web sites of sexually aroused people or any sexual positions or activity. Naturism is a way of life, not part of a sexual lifestyle like swinging. Swingers resorts are for adults only and are designed around a sexual nature, but naturist resorts are for all ages and are designed around the whole family in a non sexual, but day to day activities without clothes.

A perversion in which an individual has sexual relations with human corpses. The fact that there is a name for this activity should tell you volumes.

New people in swinging: First-timers. A playful term that is very common at clubs.

Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes.

A lifestyle in which people meet (in the nude) to secure the benefit of sunlight on their exposed bodies. Some lifestyle couples or swingers are nudists, but not all nudists are swingers. Many families practice nudism.

A resort or meeting place of nudists, the practitioners of nudism.

A permanent state of uncontrollable sexual desire in a woman. Much more than over sexed!

Refers to an adult lifestyle club where overt sexual activities are discouraged or requested to be performed OFF PREMISE in a private home, motel or hotel etc. Some OFF PREMISE clubs permit consenting adults to sign in or register at the door of the club. Many OFF PREMISE clubs do require some form of applying for membership or screening for suitability in the club. You will still see a mild to moderate level of sexual play at OFF PREMISE clubs, but some form of discretion must be maintained. Bar owners do not want to loose their liquor license. You can do a lot on a crowed dance floor.

Sex on line, either verbal, games, cyber toys, written, visual or self gratification. Cyber Space is becoming a sexual playground for many.

Refers to an adult lifestyle club where overt sexual activities are permitted or encouraged to be performed ON PREMISE at the club. Most ON PREMISE clubs are in a private home or buildings that has no access by the general public. You must have a private invitation to attend an ON PREMISE club. All ON PREMISE clubs do require some form of applying for membership or detailed screening for suitability in the club.

A couple swinging with another couple in the same room: Several or all participating couples together in the same room: (Western U S ) swing party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one-to-one pairings and group sex during the progress of the party.


Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room: group sex. Many group sex parties do not normally lead to an orgy. Orgies are typically well planned in advance and advertised as such. Most lifestyle parties are consensual between each and every new partner.

Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.

Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.

A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. More common today is the Private House Party which requires some form of membership screening process.

Quiet, submissive non contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE)

An old term used to describe a man who tries to attract and posses every woman within his reach. Also a man who wants to put more notches in his belt from sexual conquest.

A lifestyle choice between individuals to share not only an open sexual relationship, but one which includes emotional ties of love.

Having more than one husband.

Having more than one mate. (Polyandry and polygyny combined).

Having more than one wife: bigamy.

Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.

Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others: interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs. In a Monty Python skit, it was asked of one man “Does your wife like PHOTOGRAPHY?” “Know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink!”.

Photo and phone number (used in personal ads). The majority of swingers do not send out photos and phone numbers. Most swingers will meet in adult clubs, not through personal ads.

Professional: i.e. prostitutes or paid escorts. Not welcome in the swinging lifestyle, but their ads appear in many swing ads or publications hopeful of getting clients from the many single men and cheating males that place or surf the couples ads.

A male homosexual who casts himself in the female role: old term (fairy).

An overt homosexual, usually one who makes advances to other men.

A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion with no desire for emotional attachment. The majority of swingers fit into this category.

Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactment’s. Many restraints are available at adult sex shops or manufactured from many items found at home.

Group sex, orgies, the private party scene, etc. (see CULTURE, ROMAN)

Condom, means of contraception: sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with B&D.;

Sexual gratification through inflicting pain and humiliation to others.

Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate: a man who has had a vasectomy.

Self-addressed stamped envelope.

SGL or S
Single person.

Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM, MASOCHISM). An old term referred to inflicting pain and humiliation on another person or receiving the same. Both for sexual gratification. Referred in many new clubs as Erotic Power Exchange.

A swinger without a partner, single or married. A married person might advertise that they are swinging single.

A sexual position where two people stimulate each others sexual organs at the same time. The position of the bodies is said to form the shape similar to the number 69.
This can be performed with two members of the same or opposite sex.

A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.

Another term for an OFF PREMISE swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.

A person who enjoys many sexual activities in the lifestyle, excluding intercourse. (see HARD SWINGER, FULL SWAP, HARD CORE). Most soft swingers will engage in many forms of sexual play, but reserve penetration between their own partner.

A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse. The term developed in Southern California in the early 1970’s (see HARD SWINGING, HARD CORE).

An old fashioned term for petting a partner of the opposite sex.

A few ladies have the ability to squirt clear fluids during sexual stimulation. Some women are embarrassed about the excessive fluid, but all will tell you it is very erotic and for some better than an orgasm. This is not related to urine or golden showers.

S.T.D. or STD
Sexually transmitted disease. A term developed in the late 1970’s to replace Venereal Disease (VD) as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. Many people used to avoid treatment to avoid the stigma associated with VD. People have a more open attitude today in seeking treatment for viral infections etc.

Primarily a Swinger who is not interested in same sex sexual activity. Can also mean a person who does not use drugs.

Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.

A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community.

Social-sexual relational recreation among men and women. It is primarily a couple oriented activity but single men and women sometimes are involved.

Style of living with swinging as a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships. An open acceptance of social and sexual interaction between consenting adults.

Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.

The sexual partner who is willing and submissive to another partner who is in complete control. Quiet, submissive non contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE) (see PASSIVE)

An old term used for a prostitute.

A person who by their provocative behaviour, arouses sexual expectations but finally refuses intimacies.

Room set aside for sexual play, but each room has a central theme such at the doctors office, the roman room, the mirror room, the sixties room (above) or the cave etc. Many larger on premise clubs will use their imagination to create an erotic adventure atmosphere in every room they create.

Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. Not the same as a “menage a’ trois” in that the latter may involve emotional involvement and a continuing relationship.

Used for admission. A person, usually a woman or prostitute or escort, brought to a swing party solely to enable the man to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.

Sexual aids used to stimulate the sexual organs or sensitive parts of a persons body. (see MARITAL AIDS)


Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.

Used in personal ads to indicate desire for “threesomes”. This is a common but confusing usage (see TRIAD)

Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile: A method of contraception. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation.

Eonist. A person who feels compelled to wear and act socially, always or on certain occasions, the apparel of the opposite sex. This can include makeup and female jewelry.

A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.

Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to make a man infertile: A method of contraception. The medical procedure is done in less than five minutes and new methods (non-scalple vasectomy) are available today that require no stitches. Men are still able to have an orgasm, but with dead sperm. Most women say that men do not taste as strong after having a vasectomy. Vasectomies do not affect or change the sexual drive of the male in any way.

Bisexual. (see AC/DC)

Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self stimulation and to sexually please another. (see Dildo, Marital Aids)

Fullness of beauty and form: usually used to refer to a woman with large well formed breasts: may also refer to full but well formed hips. A lady of beauty and comfort.

A person who seeks sexual excitation and satisfaction mainly by looking. A person who enjoys and is stimulated by watching others in sexual acts or nudity.

A common term referring to a married person who is cheating on his partner. Also refers to a person or couple who say that they are active swingers, when in reality they are not. In many cases it is the male pushing his female partner into swinging because he WANABEE a swinger.

A term given to urinating in front of or ON another person, typically while in the shower or bath tub. Also referred to as Golden Showers. Also an older term referring to giving or receiving an enema into the rectum for sexual stimulation. (see Golden Showers)
What most people are not aware of, is the fact that normal urine is sterile. As a general rule, the urogenital area is cleaner than most other body parts are, and it need not be washed, nor should hands be washed after urinating. There was a 19th century prejudice that the genitals were unclean and the custom of washing hands after urinating started.

Advertiser with white skin. Sometimes very important that the person is looking for a partner of the same color or specific color.

An old term referring to a prostitute.

Fear of individuals and practices coming from a group other than one’s own country, race or nation. Fear of intermarriage or sexual relations with another race may be due to this feeling.

The practice of having sexual intercourse with animals. Coitus between a human and another species of animal.

An erotic impulse to play with the genitals of animals or to seek sexual stimulation with the aid of an animal. It is not infrequent among lonely mature people who keep pets.