Swinging? Uncertain – Curious – New?

This post is also available in: English Nederlands (Dutch)

Starting swinging is easy, but it’s also scary. I suppose it’s easy for us to tell you not to be nervous, but really, it’s true. Everyone in the swingers lifestyle was new at the same time and everyone moves at their own pace. When you join a club, you don’t have to feel pressure. You are free to do as little or as much as you want. Also, people in the swingers lifestyle get away from different interests (such as: voyeurism, exhibitionism, exchange, etc.). If you are considering joining the swingers lifestyle to solve a problem in your relationship, DO NOT! This is not the kind of activity that will solve a relationship. However, if you want to improve your relationship, this could be the perfect route. Always stand in front of each other and others you can talk to. Let them know what your interests are and find out what they are looking for. It is fine to be curious but insecure.

Swinging? Uncertain - Curious - New?

Misconceptions and useful tips

Not true: People in the swingers lifestyle are only interested in sex and not friendship.

True: The majority of people in the swinging lifestyle are very interested in Friendship first and then sex (or partying). There is a wide variety of people in the lifestyle and they all have their own view on the way they swing in their lives. We all have to determine for ourselves what swinging means to us. But our personal experience has been that the people in this lifestyle are warm, friendly and caring people who love the freedom that comes with it. It’s important that you know the different types of clubs available in your area and attend the one that suits your needs.

Not true: once you have connected with someone in the lifestyle, you are obliged to have sex with them.

True: Meeting or spending time with others is simply that, getting to know each other. As soon as you get to know them, you can decide if you want to party with them and they can decide if they want to party with you. Everyone has the opportunity to say yes or no. Never assume that you turn it down socially, which automatically means that you are having sex. Remember, you have to have friends you really like to be social, but you don’t want to have sex. Everyone involved should be comfortable with the situation. We never recommend meeting people through advertisements. It is much safer to meet couples at adult swing clubs first.

Not true: Everyone is a 10, a knockout with a good body and a good look.

True: People in the lifestyle come in all shapes, sizes and colors. However, we have found that the majority of them are very beautiful people (from the inside), from all walks of life and of all ages. You will find many ads that express a desire to call a perfect 10 couple or sometimes Ken and Barbie. Couples that only express a desire to meet a Ken & Barbie limit the number of possible couples with other swingers couples. Most of the pictures you see on our website and of others are mostly models. Most couples at our club and many others are made up of average people you would meet at your local shop or theater.

Not true: In a swing club situation, hang your clothes at the door.

True: Most clubs require casual attire with optional rules in different areas of the club. They are all a bit different and you need to get the details from each club. Many of the ladies in the swing clubs wear sexy clothes or lingerie. Some of them bring a few sets of clothes to change during the evening. Some couples have clothes to put on after visiting the hot tub or just wear a towel (again, different clubs have different rules). Be sure to ask what the rules are in each club. Every club is different.

Not true: In a swing club situation, everyone is watched.

True: No one has the right to perform and grant freedom with others without that person’s permission. Even if there is a lady / gentleman naked in front of you, he is not allowed to touch you without permission. No is no, no exception! It is very important that you understand this rule, it is the golden rule in swinging.

Not true. In a swinger club, you are expected to have sex.

True: Everyone moves at their own pace. People come into the lifestyle for different interests. Some people just want to look at others, some like to be looked at. Some want to play together with other couples, or singles. There are others who like the relaxed atmosphere of a swingersclub and the freedom to enjoy without inhibitions. Only clubs that allow full sexual contact and intercourse are listed on the swinger clubs page. You are never expected to have sex in every type of club, the choices are always yours.

Not true: In a swinger club situation the activities always consist of a big orgy with a lot of mattresses on the floor.

True: Most clubs have all kinds of activities. The clubs vary in activities such as dancing (with DJ), hot tub, pool, pool tables, adult movies, weekly themes, darkroom, bar, buffet, nights, and of course open and closed party areas. Always ask or search online before visiting a new club what a club has to offer. It is very important that you get to know the different types of swingers-clubs/">swingers clubs available in your area.

Not true: In an unforeseen swingers clubs situation, if we decide to become active and have sex, we are expected to perform oral and anal sex.

True: Anal sex is rare at most clubs, but is enjoyed by many in the private sphere. Rarely do you see someone forcing a conservative sex partner to do something they feel uncomfortable with. Most swingers clubs have special events for new swingers or newcomers. All new couples are treated with tenderness and understanding. Experienced swingers have all been there themselves and don’t want to deter new potential swingers to the lifestyle.

Not true: If you receive a home party invitation from a couple you can have sexual intercourse without asking.

True: Many couples invite you to come home together, but for many different reasons. Sometimes one of the new partners will invite you and let your partner come to their home without making appointments first. You will avoid big mistakes if you talk about the party as a foursome and tell them what you do and don’t do before you meet up. Even if it was agreed on the date to swap partners and have sexual intercourse, many things can change a person’s feelings. Always ask and remember NO is always NO!

Not true: Most swingers don’t use condoms and sexually transmitted diseases are common among swingers.

True: Many couples are surprised to find out that most swingers use condoms on all occasions. There are a number of men and women who don’t have condoms and prefer not to use them, but if they are asked, they will use them without hesitation. We have more than 200 member couples and about 50% use condoms and 50% prefer not to, but use them when asked.

Most swingers are married couples, middle to high income, highly educated, have children and their hygiene practices are better than the average population. Most sexually transmitted diseases are cured today and are rarely found among the swinging community. Most couples are very surprised to discover that sexual diseases are rare among swingers. Even AIDS is rare or never heard of in the swingers community.

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