What is normal for beginning swingers
When you first start in the swingers lifestyle, you will hear this sentence many times from experienced couples. “Don’t worry, it’s normal to feel this way.” So before you ask those questions to other couples, we’ve given you some topics that are very common and normal to experience or see in the swingers lifestyle.
We thought this section could give you a link to all the things that are normal to feel and actions and reactions that are normal to do. Many couples feel jealous when they see their partner playing with a new partner and wonder if it’s normal to feel that way. VERY NORMAL, especially your first time.
Discussing the subject of swinging
Usually, the male partner will quote the subject of swinging after a few years of marriage or living with a partner. Normally the response is, “Are you crazy?”, “Don’t you love me?”, “Am I not good enough?”, Enz.
Most couples go into the swinging lifestyle in small steps. They talk about fantasies and it improves the sexual relationship between partners. Normally, most couples will realize their fantasies in many months or even years!
It is normal to be very afraid to enter or just jump into the swingers lifestyle. We recommend that couples progress slowly and go at the pace of the slowest partner.
Attending your First Club Party or Dance Party
Normally the male partner is very eager to jump in and plant his seed. You will see this many times with couples whose marital and communication skills are very weak. Expectations are normally too high for both partners and their first experience in a dance club or party can be a big disappointment for one or both of them.
Normally, most couples have not done enough research on the swingers lifestyle. If you’ve never attended a swing club or event and this is the first time you’ve thought about it and read this information, you’ll know you’re ahead of the many couples who don’t do any research at all.
Normally the first couples have many different feelings both good and bad during their first life experience. Always attend your first event with the expectation of having a good time with your own partner!
How far are you willing to go?
Usually most couples will attend their first swingers-clubs/">swingers club or event without even discussing the limits of the game. In most cases, the male partner will suggest, let’s just see what happens so we can control the club. This is a very big mistake! Normally the male is very excited about attending and seeing what he can get, while the female partner is terrified and nervous.
What surprises most couples is that the opposite is almost true. The male partner usually has a hard time finding a new female partner to dance with, while the lady has contact much quicker than the males. We have seen this several times. Normally the male partner gets angry that his female partner has a much better time than he has. The male partner will normally sit at his table and drink too much.
Most ladies are so surprised how exciting and stimulating the new experiences feel for her. Most men introduce the ladies to the swingers lifestyle, but it’s usually the ladies who keep their male partners in the swingers lifestyle!
It is very important to discuss all the rules and what limits or levels of play you are willing to go. You will both regret it if you don’t!
It is normal to be nervous
Many new couples in the swingers lifestyle are very nervous to make the first step to visit a swinger club and will be afraid of being exposed to voyeurs and sex in every nook and cranny. All clubs want new couples to feel at home and go out of their way to provide a discreet and safe environment. Before attending a new swinger club, make sure you have questions about a particular club and try to have them answered in advance. You will be pleasantly surprised that you were not the first couple to ask the same question.
Club owners and couples in the swingers lifestyle want you to join them, and this can be one of the most exciting adventures you and your partner can have together. Many club visitors speak or meet to discuss the swingers lifestyle, or show your fears or their club. Many clubs also offer orientation nights for new couples. Always go at the pace of the slowest partner!
I want to socialize first and he wants sex
Some couples want to get to know their new partners or couples before having sex. This is normal for many couples and is very pleasant so you know who you are dealing with. For many other couples, the opposite is true. It can be very exciting to have hot and fiery sex with a complete stranger before they get to know each other.
It is normal that some couples don’t want the social aspect of swinging at all. For others the social aspect is mandatory to make them comfortable. Take the time to discuss what makes you happy!
We’ve met strangers at swingers-clubs/">swingers clubs, had three hours of steamy sex before we even knew their names. This is a very big fear for many, but for many others it is the normal course of events.
Both approaches to swinging are normal, so don’t feel out of place when you meet a couple with opposing views on the subject. In life, it is much easier to make your lovers into friends than it is to make friends into lovers. In the swingers lifestyle, both situations can be true. It is very important that you both play at the same level, if you have different opinions on this subject, you don’t enjoy your swinging experiences together.
I have trouble keeping an erection
It is very common for many men to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection during their first few visits to a swingers’ club or first few private parties with other couples or groups. There is nothing wrong, but a lot of new visual sensations that are new and can affect many men. Men are very visual in their sexuality and the swingers lifestyle brings so many new, exciting images of real life right in front of you that even a small sound or distraction can kill the moment for some men or women.
Many women who play with new men for the first time can get a feeling of doing something wrong when a man is unable to get or maintain an erection. It can be very frustrating for new ladies when they have just played with three new men at a club and they all have problems getting an erection. The ladies may really start to wonder if they are doing something wrong or feel that they are not attracting the male sex.
The good news for everyone is that it is just temporary. Most men have no problem getting and keeping an erection after having confidence in group settings. There are only a few men who need a longer period of time to feel comfortable with a new partner or in group settings.
Don’t forget to understand new couples. There are many new feelings and new visual stimuli that can be overwhelming to new couples and everyone reacts in different ways. As a reminder, too much alcohol will also kill the ability to get or maintain an erection.