Before contacting the owners of a club for swingers via email or phone, it is very important that you both understand the differences between different clubs. You should always choose a club that puts you BOTH at ease and the club will organize activities that are BOTH for you.
It is essential that new couples start in a club that meets their mutual sexual desires. Both know in your heart what you want to do or what freedom you are willing to give your partner. You need to know what your playing boundaries are and what activities excite you the most. Most clubs can be divided into three types of clubs, on location, mixed access and only couples clubs.
We would like to describe the three levels of swingers-clubs/">swingers clubs such as elementary school, high school and university. Like school, the largest groups of people can be found in primary school and the smallest groups can be found at university. The training and activities become more difficult as you go through the different levels of education. Some couples are comfortable and both are ready for university for their first club, but many couples have mixed feelings about where to start or how far they should go. If you are mixed in your decision, you should start at elementary school and both will work your way to college if you both want to go higher up. The most experienced swingers can be found in college.
You have to date where you both feel comfortable! Even some beginners won’t feel comfortable in elementary school, because they are mentally and physically ready for university. There are also many differences between the clubs at each level, such as age groups, location, activities, costs, screening, restrictions, etc. Which can be a factor or a concern for both of you. Remember that age groups are not a critical factor when swinging, just for your comfort level. What is most critical is that you are with a group of people who are doing the same things that attract you both.
It’s very normal to be nervous.
Many new couples in the swingers lifestyle are very nervous about making the first step to visit a clubs/">swingers club, afraid that their functions will be attended by a large number of gawkers, exhibitionists, voyeurs and sex that is played in every corner. All clubs are very sensitive to making new couples feel at home and do everything they can to provide a discreet and safe environment. Before you go to a new swingers club, make sure you handle any fears or questions you may have about their facilities. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that you weren’t the first couple to ask the same question or have similar fears.
Club owners and couples in the swingers lifestyle want you to join and this can be one of the most exciting adventures you and your partner do together. Many club owners talk or meet you in person to discuss the swingers lifestyle or your fears or to show you their club. Many clubs also offer orientation evenings for new couples. Always go at the pace of the slowest partner!
Off Premise Clubs – Elementary School
Many new couples of the swingers lifestyle will find these clubs first, as they generally have the highest turnout at a swingers club and they are generally advertised by word-of-mouth, adult newspapers, local newspapers, internet, etc. There are many types of off-premises clubs and they offer many types of events, from dancing, dinners, social gatherings in nightclubs, travel, private parties, themed events, icebreakers, introduction services, pool parties, private parties, conventions and much, much more. Ask your local club what kind of activities and events they can offer you. Nearly all Off Premise Clubs have an informal screening process to ensure that you are an adult couple and in some form of relationship.
Any new couple thinking of joining a swingers-clubs/">swingers club for the first time and being very nervous should definitely make an Off Premise Club their first choice for this new adventure. You’ll meet every type of lifestyle couple in these clubs from the beginner (first time to a swingers club) to couples who have been in the swingers lifestyle for years. The variety of couples you can meet is endless. Normally you’ll only see couples who mingle and meet with other couples in Off Premise-clubs. Sexual activity outside Premiere Clubs at most is limited to caressing, touching, rubbing etc.
New couples who are interested in the full sexual aspect of the swingers lifestyle and BOTH want to participate in the physical aspect of the swingers lifestyle during their first night out should consider a Mixed Club or On Premiere Club for your first event. If you’re both primarily interested in the sexual aspect of the swingers lifestyle, Off Premise clubs are likely to make you frustrated when you’re trying to find couples.
Since Off-Premise clubs have the largest collection of new couples for the swingers lifestyle, there will be a large number of couples going through different phases of experimentation, feelings, jealousy, head games and so on. It can take many visits in an Off-Premise club and takes time to meet couples that match what you are looking for. Most Off-Premise Clubs hold private parties where On Premise activities take place.
Just a reminder that many couples visiting Off-Premise clubs have no intention of actually strolling with another couple. Many couples get their high or excitement by flirting, showing off or watching other couples in swingers clubs. In the presence of many sexually charged couples alone, many couples get warm and horny when they get home.
Off / On Premise Clubs – High School
There are many types of mixed private clubs, such as couples clubs, singles clubs, S & M-clubs, B & D-clubs and fetish clubs, to name but a few. All prospective members are screened for suitability and many of these clubs do not advertise publicly, not even on the Internet. These clubs usually offer the same activities as the Off Premise Clubs with the obvious difference in attention to one sexual preference, such as swinging, bondage, nudity and other activities.
Because these types of clubs focus on one area, the memberships can be much smaller than the Off-Premium clubs and they meet less often. Not every couple is interested in S & M, but if a couple is looking for a sexual preference for B & D, there are private clubs that devote their activities there to their sexual preference. Most mixed private clubs are usually by invitation, but many couples looking for a specific type of private club can find them on the internet, through word of mouth or by asking owners of other lifestyle clubs where they can get in touch with couples, etc.
If you are invited to a private club, contact the owner or operators of the club to find out first hand what kind of activities the club offers. Some Off-Premise clubs will indicate that they are not available, and that when many local activities take place, they will be very specific in your questions to the owners.
Most swingers clubs nowadays hold Off-Premise dance clubs in a public building or hall and hold local activities in members’ private homes.
On Premise Clubs – University
On Premise clubs mainly focus on the sexual aspect of the swinging swingers lifestyle. All potential members are screened for suitability and some On Premise clubs do not publish publicly, even on the Internet. These clubs usually offer the same activities as the Off Premise Clubs with the obvious difference in attention to the sexual aspect of swinging with other consenting adults.
Because On Premise clubs focus on one area, memberships can be much smaller than Off-Place clubs and they meet less often. Not every couple is interested in the sexual aspect of the swinging swingers lifestyle, so On Premise clubs would be the worst place to start. Most On Premise clubs are usually by invitation or a detailed screening process to determine if the couple both enjoy the sexual aspect of swinging and neither partner pushes the other into the swingers lifestyle. Never push or go to a swingers club with your partner just to make them happy, you’ll regret getting the swingers lifestyle unless you really enjoy open sexual play.
Most On Premise clubs don’t allow singles, exhibitionists only, voyeurs or disengaged couples. All swingers love to show off or look at their partner or others engaged in sexual play, but feel uncomfortable with couples who just come to watch or show off without playing. We get couples who constantly ask us to come to our parties and watch our members have sex. Honestly, we are not a beep show and the majority of our members would feel uncomfortable if they were being watched. It’s very different to be a participant and see all the other couples having sex next to you.
Swinging at a local club
Normally you’ll see couples mingle and meet other couples in On Premise clubs similar to Off Premise clubs with a very big difference! Most couples will mingle with a variety of other partners at On Premise clubs. Rarely do you see couples mingle. Most couples will each find a sexually attractive playmate and play as a foursome.
You will also see and play a lot of threesome activities in On Premise clubs. If you are looking for the MFF or FMM combinations, you will definitely find them here! It is very difficult to find two people who can get along with each other. Try to find two couples that each person finds the other person’s partner attractive or exciting. Most couples will play with many different partners in an On Premise club and will match up over time with many different couples.
On Premise clubs are the worst places to start with the swingers lifestyle if either one of you is very nervous or feels pushed into the swingers lifestyle. If you’re both just as excited about playing sexually with other consenting adults, On Premise clubs are your perfect playing field, even if it’s your first time to a club. Even couples who join an On Premise club for the first time can play safely, because every couple must respect NO NO NO and if club owners do their job, intrusive couples won’t get memberships in the club. Over the years we’ve seen the odd pushy person, but first of all, 98% of all swing pairs respect your feelings and know when to give space.
On Premise clubs are not for every couple! Many new couples at On Premise clubs play with their own partner on their first visit (about 20% at 4Play), unless they are both very adventurous and jump right in (about 80% at 4Play). Many experienced swingers will never push a new pair to do something that feels uncomfortable. Clubs do everything they can to make new couples feel welcome, otherwise new couples won’t stay in the swingers lifestyle. Yes, this kind of activity in the picture above is what you are likely to see and welcome to join our club in the large playroom, provided you have a partner who has permission to play with you.
It is very common for someone to reach out to the person next to them, like the lady playing with the man’s balls. If you like it, tell her it feels good. If you don’t want the person to touch you, move the hand neatly back to her leg or body. Such actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t take long before you feel very comfortable and safe in a group room.
There are so many types of conventions available for adults, such as swingers, nudists, etc. These conventions are planned by individuals, clubs, organizations and even countries. Your local clubs will know about many of them and many clubs advertise these events in newsletters, word of mouth and the internet. Most conventions offer mixed levels of activities for singles and couples.
Even airlines and hotels give huge discounts for these organized events, even reserving complete high-rise hotels for national events. Bring a lot of energy and be prepared for a conference you’ll be talking about for years to come.
Don’t give up on your first few attempts.
If you are going to an On Premise- or Off Premise-club for the first time and you don’t feel comfortable, don’t let the first few experiences discourage you. Talk to other couples or the owners and let them know how you feel. Every club is different and you need to find a club you feel comfortable with and the couples that are present. There are many couples who are willing to help.
There are many differences between the clubs, take the time to visit them and play in some of them. You will definitely find a few clubs that will become your favorites.
Over time you will find pairs that match both of you. Take the time to exchange addresses, email and meet socially and sexually from time to time. Many of your new couples will introduce you to their swingers lifestyle friends over the years. Your list of compatible playmates will continue to grow and you’ll wonder why you didn’t start swinging much sooner.
If you’ve both decided what type of club you’d feel comfortable with, research all available clubs in your area before you go in. Some couples only feel comfortable visiting a swingers club that covers a considerable distance. away from home, for fear of bumping into a colleague, neighbor or family friend etc. If you meet couples who know you, don’t forget that they also play privately at the swingers clubs!
Contact the owners of your club of your choice by email or phone. In most cases in the swingers lifestyle you will never be asked for your last name unless clubs intend to send you information by email. If you are not familiar with the club, make sure you ask if the club is ON-PREMISE or OFF PREMISE. There is a big difference between the two types of clubs and it is important to know what level of activity you are both looking for. Ask what types of activities you can expect to see or participate in the club. Some Off Premise-clubs that work outdoors are likely to be involved in many On Premise-activities.
Let the club owners know that this will be your first time to a club. If you are nervous, don’t be ashamed to say so, most couples are nervous the first time. Ask the club owners if they can introduce you and your partner to other couples who have the same interests in sex as you both do. You will usually be introduced by other club owners on your first visit to a club if you want to.